of family and career

When I was eighteen, I thought being twenty five is good. By that time, I will own car, house, and money to travel anywhere. I imagine living in a mansion with all branded shoes, cloths and handbags hang in the wardrobe. Complete cooking utensil that I can use to cook for myself. Giant screen for me to watch movies in my own home theater. A line of imported cars, audi, range rover and buggati. Also, I had one small pretty mansion at New Zealand behind the mountain, just to look at the scenery and watched my goats playing police and thief.

It was all in my imagination. 

Now that I am twenty three, things are getting real. I know that a mansion wasn't cost hundred thousands but millions. I know that branded shoes, cloths and handbags can cost five months and more of my allowance/salary. I know that the cost of maintaining imported car is not as affordable as I maintaining my SAGA FLX (I love you momo ?<3) and having another house in foreign country behind a mountain is so ambitious (so like me). 

I know it was all possible if we work really hard for turn our dreams into reality. I furthering my studies at Johor and Lumut, Perak for my diploma and degree respectively. When I was in Johor, I will come back twice per month, and the spirit is still rage in me. When I was in Lumut, I am six hours away from home and I don't know why, I have started to feel bothered by the distance. 

Now that I am in KL, working as an intern. Renting a room, staying far from family and friends, make me thinks about my career in the future. I know that I will need to stay where I can find suitable work within my major and mostly the office is based in KL and Selangor, but city is not my place. I just wanted to stay near my parents, working in Melaka and come back from office to look for their faces. 

Maybe because I've started to realize that they are not so young anymore. The wrinkles appear, their body often aches, their leg is not that strong. And yes, I am afraid, that I'll be losing them in the process of catching my dream. I would like to live up my dream, but with them around me. 

#emotionaldaughter