This gonna be a very long post! so, sorry in advance!!
Today is the seventh day of me working as an intern at MS (couldn't reveal company's name as I planning to rant on my supervisor here). This is my second time undergoing internship program and this time is for my bachelor. All praises to Allah who has give me the strength to complete my study. At this stage I started to think about what will I do with my life once I've finished my study because I don't think I am any ready to face life other than as a students.
Talking about this, while I am typing, my mind already exploring to my memories. I am not ready to leave yet. *crying* *wiping tears* and *crying* again.
Things aren't going so well on the first week. Is it tough? yes. Why? because I don't like it here. Why? maybe because I am the talkative one but no one seems interested to make conversation with me and even if I make a conversation, they couldn't understand my language as they are Korean and my vocabulary isn't wide enough to think and translate. Plus, they rarely talk. Worst -- my supervisor who is the only one malay in the office is making it hard for me to survive the day for he had that PMS symptom only girls should had - so can you imagine? but nah, it's alright, boys had their time too, but my sv having it like almost everyday! pftt.
I rent a medium room of three-sharing for RM400/person. (fully furnished). Got wifi ready, astro, aircond (both in living and bedroom), water heater, sofa, kitchen, -- I like the interior -- my roommates are both working at One Utama (if I'm not mistaken), they are Kelantanese and we still in the process of breaking the hard ice. Staying in the small is a divorcee age 44 years old, mother of (few kids). She's staying alone as she paid for RM600/month. And lastly master bedroom is own by the owner, yes girl, the owner is staying with us. I though it is such a fine thing at first but guess what, it was the stupidest idea I ever had.
So the thing is, the owner and that kakak living in single room -- they go clubbing and drinking alcohol. I am not judging a person's dosa pahal, salah betul, halal haram because it is between them and Allah, but as much as I respect their choice, I hope they too could respect mine. Once, the owner offer me the red wine and ask me a question which me myself feel ashamed to say it or talk about it.
So when things happened simultaneously, I am miserable and yes, I feel burdened by the situations. Last Monday, I am bit emotional and when suddenly ayah whatsapp me asking me why didn't he heard me for days, I cried. In the office when no one is around, I cried. I heart out everything to my dad and seeking for his advice. And just as I expect, before maghrib, my sister whatsapp me saying that she's looking for a new house for me to stay. (so protective since we were kids). After isya' I video called my mom and cried again when I saw her face and when she said, she is making dua for me, I cried again and end the video call and cried again, **what a crybaby** I'm not usually like this okay!
However, no matter what situation are you in, have faith in Allah. He'll never leave His servant alone if you seek for him. And always remember that no matter how far you are from your family, they always pray for your very best. Always appreciate what you have right now and count for every blessing you received instead of counting of what you don't have. And perhaps, every test befall onto you right now is the aftereffect of your sins, so accept, reflect and repent.
The weight of my words must be carried out by my action too, hence I request for your help to pray for me, so I could be a better human being for my family, friends and to the society.