I'm keep having bad dream lately. Do you ever have that kind of very slow motion dream that you try to move as fast as you could but gravity was not on your side? I hate that kind of dream like so very much. Those people who came in my dream last night mostly from my childhood friends.
*In my dream*
Scene 1
We're going to have exam tomorrow, subject SIVIK but got something to do with biology which making it hard for all of the students. But that night, everyone was gathering at this one place, celebrating new year or something else, I don't know. But they are celebrating it with fireworks at midnight and everyone was enjoying the moment and they seem to have a lot of fun, but not me.
Scene 2
I sat beside Farhah and look at her books, she's studying for tomorrow exam and I am getting scared because I didn't do any revision yet. We were sitting on the table that you can see at kampung. They put that wide short table under the tree so many people can join them on the table. Yup, I am sitting on that table with Farhah and some others schoolmate, watching Khuzir (bukan nama sebenar) and Ainan (bukan nama sebenar) lighting the fireworks.
Scene 3
My brother, Kimi and Mama also joining me, but my mom was waiting for me inside the house (which basically look like my maklong's house). Kimi enjoying his night with his friend, who is a brother to Ainan. They looked so happy jumping and shouting. And as for me on the table, I was asking Farhah to borrow her book but a friend who sat beside her right already take her book, so I'm trying to ask Wajiha who sat in front of me and she give her book.
Scene 4
Everyone has that one special bag, (that small bag like jemaah Haji got from Lembaga Tabung Haji) and as for everyone at the event, we got 'jajan' inside the bags. Lot of sweets, jelly beans and chocolates. But everyone got different amount of sweets and I was so sad, because mine was so sikittt!! Of course la sedih, this is my dream kot, what the heck is everyone got more than me?
Scene 5
Najeeha and me were sneaking from a dark room. She took Wajihah's bag as Wajihah have a lot of jelly beans, 2 packet. I told Najeeha to return back to Wajihah before she start to ask everyone to look for her bag. And the reason why I hate it so much because there is someone with her, who will try to put the blame on me. That person will try to make me look as 'penjenayah' while I'm not doing it.
At that time, when Najeeha already put everything back to its place, she go and hide in the cupboard. She is very fortunate because she is so small, and I still not moving until Wajihah and Fai (bukan nama sebenar) walk into the room.
Fai want to blame me but Najeeha came out from her hiding, admit that she is the one who took Wajihah's bag. She already put everything back, she just have eaten one of the chocolates from the bag. Wajihah didn't make a big fuss, so they left.
Scene 6
I went out from the house to look for Kimi, all the students still enjoying the last fireworks. I bumped up with Khuzir. He smile and I glare at him with fierce and blur face at one time. I hate seeing he smile at me, even in real life, I know I will hate. Fortunately it won't happen in real life, because I know that one friend will never smile at me. I hate him so damn much, till today. Couldn't forgive him either. CUT. Back to the story, I was running to the mall, and met Kimi on my way. I asked him to wait at the car and I looked at him with such beautiful eyes and my heart was calm. Once I enter the mall, it was not a mall at all, the place I entered was like in emergency stairs. I walked down the stairs and still didn't found any door open, so I try to go up and the door was closed..!!
I am getting scared. I already asked Kimi to wait in the car. and what should I do if I can't get out from this building? I running down the stairs like super fast!! the stairs seems like have no ending.
And finally, I succeed to go out from the emergency stairs. But that was not all!!
The area I stand on have an automatic gate, which will automatically closed once the mall is closed. The door was getting closed to each other and I could't make it to go through it.
But there is a little space below the gate, so I'm sliding on the floor to go through it. Alhamdulillah, I succeed.
But that was not all.
I saw someone, a guy standing behind his car. My vision is blurry, maybe because I didn't wear my spec. (told ya, specky people should wear spec while sleep, this will help them in their dream, :p)
I didn't know what he did but I just stand up to go and get my brother and my mom. BUT, that guy keep shooting at me. And at that moment, the dream become so slow motion. I try to avoid and keep moving. He's chasing me.
I was so scared, just what is in the world that I dream about people shooting at me! This is not the first time!! Of course I am getting scared. Knowing there is people who want to kill you is just a scary thought.
Scene 7
I saw my brother in the car, already help me starting the engine. He looked at me, waiting for me to get in but I couldn't even get closed to the car. The guy keep shooting me. It hurts me seeing my brother in the car, looking at me blankly. I want to cry.
Scene 8
My mom was shouting angrily at my teacher and my classmate, childhoods friends. I do not know what happen exactly.
Scene 9
(bla...bla..bla..bla...bla..bla) I don't know what I asked Ainan, in front of the others. Then Ainan said "I am getting him for you la Rhan" owh, since when Ainan call me Rhan? owh this is a dream anyway, anything is possible!! Ainan try to say that she is enjoying this party for a purpose, the purpose is, she is trying to make Khuzir like me. And that is the reason why Khuzir smile at me. **urrgghhhhhhh
I shout at her, I never liked him. Not before, not now and not even the future, just why don't you all people do not want to understand?? They all looking at me, unbelievable.
***
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I do not know how it ends, but as long as I remember, the last scene is between I see Kimi in the car or the scene where my mom shouting angrily at my friends. The thing that I sure the most is, I am waking up at 6.00am and feel so tired. I hate this kind of feeling, waking from a nightmare.
I am scared. Until when, this kind of nightmare will end? until when, this childhood memories will haunt me?
I am tired, I just want to live my life, normally, beautifully and peacefully.
Is it too much?