i hate this time

I want to write another poem. can I?
back then, the idea flows out without I am asking for it,
and now I need to push my brain hard. very hard.

this feeling is torturing me.

I hate this feeling. 

In my point of view, it was kind of mengada gila kot if you nak merajuk because of your friend can't bawa you out jumpa your bestfriend.

"you berkawan for benefit. kan?" kelakar lah you ni.

ini bukan zaman pemerintahan hiraki piramid.

macam-macamlah people these day. tak matang pun ye. tak belajar pun ye. hishh. nyampah!

kata mereka aku ustazah. mereka tak kenal aku siapa.

Alim.
Ustazah.

Layakkah aku?

sedangkan mereka tidak mengenali aku yang sebenarnya. ya, mereka tidak tahu.
Dari sudut apakah mereka melihat? dari segi pemakaian aku kah atau dari segi sikapku? percayalah bahawa sikapku belum pun terkeluar semua.

andai kata dilihat dan dihakimi dari segi pemakaian, 'lols' aku dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang menjaga pemaikaian anak perempuannya.
aku begitu kerana dibentuk.
membentuk aku dari segi fizikal agak mudah tetapi dari segi mentaliti tu agak payah sedikit.

jiwa ni macam nak mati. sakit. sesak.

Arghhh!

Kenapa?

Sakit. 

Aku tahan. 

Pedih. 

Aku tanggung. 

Luka. 

Aku terima. 

Katakan sahaja dan aku terima apa adanya. Tahu kenapa?

sebab aku tahu apa yang aku tinggalkan. 

sebab aku tahu apa yang aku ingkar. 

sebab aku tahu apa yang aku langgar. 

jika aku tahu, kenapa tidak aku baiki? 

sebab aku tak ketemu punca. 

sebab aku buntu. 

sebab aku rasa sesak.

sebab aku rasa berat, 

sebab aku rasa sempit. 

kenapa tak sujud pada DIA?

sebab..

entah aku tak punya jawapan.

I just notice that i easily hate people through their words.

"bagi orang lain peluang untuk buktikan yang mereka pun boleh buat. you interfere orang lain punya kerja and told them that they are not accomplished their task. Apa ni? You wanted people act the way you want them to act. don't you feel that you are a bit selfish? Its not likr you can understand one heart even you take years to know them.
Somethings just not as you thought. Who are you to define what one's think? You are not God so please  behave yourself. You just have no right to speak out on my behalf. I have my ovoice. I'll ise it if i want to tell you anything. No need to guess ir make.yoir own assumptions about me.

#out #off #exam #nomood #deep #break #lazy #intotwo 

Exam week,

a little words :)

aku tak macam mereka
mampu menginspirasikan orang dengan hanya kata-kata
tapi mereka tidak salah.
sebahagian daripada apa yang mereka katakan,
aku juga merasakan dan mengalaminya.
cuma aku bukan si pujangga yang bijak
menyusun kata- kata

selalu sahaja timbul rasa iri dalam jiwa
sebab tak mampu bermadah kata seperti mereka.
kata kata mereka bukan kata kata jiwang tak bermaka.
kata kata mereka bukan hanya kata kata kosong sepi dan tak terisi
tapi kata kata mereka ada sesuatu yang luar biasa.

mereka menginspirasi
mereka memotivasi
dan mereka punya satu journey hidup yang extraordinary.
bagi mereka ordinary.
tapi tidak bagi aku yang masih mencari jalan keluar dari tempurung ini.

aik, katak kah aku?

ya, berotak manusia berakal tiada.
menikmati apa yang ada tidak.
bersyukur jauh sekali.

rasanya dunia semakin mati kerana umatnya yang sedang nazak.
rasanya dunia semakin panas kerana hati umat
yang cepat sangat maraknya.
rasanya dunia tak stabil kerana umat yang menjalani hidup dengan
melanggar segala rule.
bayangkan milo+susu dibancuh dalam satu mug dan diisi dengan air panas 100C
sehingga tumpah tumpah selekeh meja?
tak ke bodoh namanya?

entahlah. Ini dunia. Fana
Fatamorgana bersepah tak terkira.
Rasa nak sangat selamatkan diri ni dengan orang2 tercinta tapi
kalau nak buat, tetap akan buat juga.

pendosa ni, tak layak masuk syurga
tapi tak berani juga nak junam ke neraka.
dan yang paling pendosa ni takut segala dosa-dosa yang dilakukan
akan menarik kaki ibu dan ayah dengan kejam masuk neraka sama.

kita tahu panas neraka tak terbayang.
tapi kita masih leka dengan syurga palsu ciptaan syaitan.

Apa yang kita mahu dan apa yang kita kejar sebenarnya?

Assignments.

Human Resource Management. Done
International Shipping Business. Done

For now will focus on, Agama dan Perbezaan Q&A by Uztaz Khalid.

. will have one day off.

From Shipping Business presentation just now I notice that Dato' prefer us to present in the simple form (point form).
In term of report pulak, he prefee us to put heading and all. Title is the most important thing that we must put the title in one page.

After all, I satisfied with the mark but still i'm thinking that I can do better

got emo so sudden..

Finally I’m homed. My aim is their smile. Feel good when mama like the presents. It may not be much as compared to what she has done for me. To grow me up till now, she is the best mama in the world. Growing up in such ordinary life with extraordinary love, make me feel blessed. Thanks Allah because you give this kind of family to me.

Back then, Ayah was very fierce with his child. My siblings and I usually will keep our mistakes hidden from ayah, but then he will find out as he is an investigator. I wonder if he’s a secret agent of CSI. Lol.

But, I realise when my siblings and I grow up, actually he’s trying his best in raise five of us and for me he did his best at his max. His attitude has thought me to be who am I today. He feed me good foods and drinks, he give me best cloth and he never forget to provide me with the most important things that is religion. He thought me how to read iqra’, muqadam and quran. I remember the rotten he had on his hand when teaching me. I remember how I get hit by it when I didn’t get the right pronounce even I have repeated it for several times. I remember how he will remind my siblings and me about every little thing. As usually, at time like this, mama is the best protector. She will do everything she could so that we will not do anything that ayah didn’t like. When i got mad by ayah or when I feel down, mama will be the best listener and she will be there to give me advises even sometimes I refuse to hear.

I will cry. Yeah, they didn’t know that I am crying because I don’t like to show my weakness but hey, I am human being okay. Absolutely I have thorough that down sad moment. The tears. After it went down to my gebu cheek, I will feel so relieve. I think that is why Allah put rains in our eyeball. Lol.

But what is sibling without argument. My sisters and brothers are the best at make my blood raise to the max celcius. They irritated me with their character and their words, but does it really matter? When I am here, staying far from them I think, the argument with them is the best I ever had. I can be totally myself. I can be so outspoken and we got fight but after that five of us can get along together as usually like nothing happen. All the advices we take as reflection to make ourselves better than yesterday. I just wonder why I can’t do that with my best bestfriends. Like impossible.

Food paradise. Here the term food paradise refers to my parent homemade foods. Thanks God, now I can eat sambal belacan and I am addicted to it. Today when I reached home, the food are all prepared on the table. Simple dishes but fulfil the requirement to open my appetite.

And now, when I was writing such of jiwang post here, my lil sister move all of her stuff like towel, pillow, sweater, telekung etc into my room. Yeah, she is sharing room with me but mama told me that currently my lil sister was staying in my sister room while my absent. She must miss me so damn much. Ahhh...I will let them know that I miss them too. Too much I can not bear and because of that I ask my lecturer to replace and postponed our classes. If we really want it and work for it we will totally get it. Today I smile. People ever said, ‘jangan ketawa ketawa sangat, nanti sedih sangat sangat’. For me, as we have chances to smile then let ourselves enjoy the smile. We never know when we can smile again. It is right that we must remember about other who is unfortunate when we are happy but when happy time comes just smile to the world. Just spread the smile and laugh. At least, they know that sadness never last forever and there is always the light in the sorrow. At least, they can still can hope that their happiness will come soon.
Hope never a fault.

but,

I cannot blame others when they are not having same view as mine but that is not our mistakes at all to have different opinion. 

This what we called family is.

Don't you feel it weird? to be so kind to your siblings after not meet them in a few long weeks?

i do think it weird before. 

ergh...i am not someone who will miss my siblings so much back then. 

yeah, maybe because they always in front of my eyes and i was like,

can you get lost from my sight like just one day?

but, after i think about it then I realise how much I miss them all. 

with all hardship at people's place,

I do confront the problems alone without them. 

I realise that all of this while, they are the one who give me the light. 

the light for me to keep moving in the dark. 

without them, I never know what is world today. 

they are jerk. a little brat! 

but, it was really fine actually. 

To have them is a bless for me. 

I am glad to have them in my life. 

Its okay to have a little bit argument, a little bit dissatisfaction and a little bit fight, 

because what I know, this is what make my life so colorful and beautiful. 

Nak tahu satu benda tak?

"apa yang kita buat, kita akan dapat balik"

kiratan dunia. no one can deny it!

jsut now, i was look around and blog walking kejap 

and I found my ex-classmate, ex-schoolmate yang probably I will never forget

because of she has done.

but then, hey..i am growing up here. who really care the past actually?

yeah, she was advising people for not mengaibkan orang or bad mouth 

about someone yang we don't know what their character really is.

she was advising people to grow up and be mature!

hahahha..i am laughing. lmao

In case, I can meet her right now the most useful advise I want to give her is, 

"go to kedai dua ringgit and but a mirror please"

Deactivate my twitter acc

because it really piss me off and depressing!

Assalammualaikum,
In the world of fake, dare to be real!!

Mungkin aku yang teruk.
Maybe I am the one who have no consideration about others but then am I that wrong?
I mean, everyone have something that they don't like, it just mine seemed more selfish!
and I tend to offend people.
But, should I take the entire blame or what?

am I the one who selfish or you guys who do not have attitude or to be specific
you guys had no common sense. do you?

Broom. Penyapu.
It was our responsibility lah kan to think about kebersihan bilik rumah and all.
I seriously don't care if nak bagi orang pinjam my broom for the first time in case you guys tak sempat nak beli or what kan,
but then, for weeks kot you guys keep ask to borrow's mine.
I mean, if we have share..it's alright la kan,
but then I pay for that tau! This is not about I kedekut ke apa ke, it just tak kanlah selama we're staying here at isv you nak use mine!
benda yang satu tu boleh hancur kot!
dah satua batang then yang gunanya one floor! agak-agaklah kan.

why eh, Malaysian asyik fikir benda yang easy je. pinjam, pinjam, pinjam..
kalau kita ni serumah tak apalah juga. Tak adalah I nak bising berjela-jela macam ni.
But then, kita from different house tau! you guys are just my neighborhood!
I nak sapu my rumah lagi. Then you sapu rumah you pakai my broom.
You guys tak ada common sense ke? beli la penyapu sendiri untuk rumah you guys.
why should use mine?

If korang nak salahkan aku, nak kata aku kedekut ke apa ke. Lantak!
seriously I don't mind!
ada benda yang korang suka aku tak suka.
ada benda yang aku suka korang tak suka.
so why bother?
kalau tak boleh accept cara aku, then fine.
i know people judging after ask me to be myself.
korang boleh kata aku pentingkan diri, but then mengambil kesempatan diatas kemudahan orang lain itupun dikira pentingkan diri juga.
and I just don't understand, how people who borrow my 'precious lovely stuff' act like it was her's.
I mean like, I sayang gila tahap gila kot dekat my 'precious lovely stuff' ni and when dia cakap dia nak pinjam, I was stuttered tau. I was hoping that she'll understand that I won't give her.
but then, yeah..people keep take advantage on people and their urge to own that stuff growing bigger.
and yeah..dia mendesak. kind of la.
and I when it was about family, friends, and close cousins everything jadi kacau!
so I bagi jelah dengan berat hati and I really hope yang dia akan pulangkan dengan kadar yang cepat.

so what happen next is when I meet dia at one event, guess what happen?
yeah...she's using what's mine.
i thought dia nak pinjam just for an event.
how could you pinjam barang kesayangan orang which I am not willing tu in front of me!
apa yang ada in my head that time is 'kau tak ada rasa nak pulangkan ke apa?"
and what make me shock is,
i am the one who ask her when she want to give it back to me.
I can't hold my back though after seeing she's acting like it was hers and is she pretending that I don't mind?

derhh..

tengah menggelegak sekarang! so better stop now sebab I dah tak tahu apa yang I cakap. but then kalau you guys terasa dengan my words then, terserah,

malas dah nak layan. Kalau korang nak kata aku pentingkan diri, lantak!
but one thing.
WANTING PEOPLE TO BE THE ONE WE WISHED THEY WERE LIKE, ARE ALSO CALLED SELFISH!!

Refreshing

Assalammualaikum and hey, we are having such a refreshing day today!

walked around the ISV area to the stadium in such a good air. 

The water droplets fall on my black head. Not wet me at all. 

Just breathing. Take a deep breath at let it go.

some things just better left unsaid

let it be and moving on as we might not get it back,

but for me, it doesn't seemed wrong to still hope. 

Because nothing is impossible. 

Biar pitca berbicara :)

Currently at International Student Village 

with: Atiqah (beloved roomate)

Friendship itu datangnya sekali dengan rasa hormat.
Tak bermakna kalau kita berkawan baik, kita boleh ceroboh privasi kawan kita sesuka hati.
wallet, phone and handbag merupakan salah satu hal yang berada dibawah linkungan privasi.

buat apa nak sakitkan dengan orang yang tak pernah nak hargai perasaan kita? so ignore je lah Na pasal diorang semua. Tak rugi satu apa pun. 

honestly aku rasa alin tu sama je macam aisyah. slowly take away my place. 

then, berpecah pecah macam aku dengan amalyna dulu

patut tak aku tarik Deana sekarang? Tapi pada dia Alin sangat baik, so tak ada guna pun kalau aku nak cakap apapa. Lagipun, tak ada sebab Deana tak suka Alin. 

dan Deana juga ada hak nak kawan dengan siapa yang dia suka. Aku bukan siapa siapa. 

Berkawan dengan aku juga tak menentukan yang masa depan dia kan cerah. 

Masa depan aku sendiri kabur kabur

Biarlah Deana cari diri dia sendiri. Biarlah dia berkwan dengan siapapun yang dia suka.

Aku tidak boleh halang. 

Jangan jadi kejam sangat Na, mereka punya hak.

Mula mula hanya aku fara and dd.

Then aimy pulak masuk. Then Alin, Then Ezzu. Then??

Aku tak faham. sumpah tak faham

tapi disini, aku merasa bersalah sangat. pada sarah? walaupun aku tak suka dia tapi dia selalu baik dengan aku. Cuma kadang kadang cara dia buat aku tak boleh berkawan dengan dia. 

sepatutnya kalau aku tak suka dia, aku tak perlulah cakap dengan orang lain, ni tidak.

Habis qiah, tikah, amal and ain semua tahu. 

Nana, nana, kau dah berlaku kejam pada orang lain Na.

Kau pun bukannya baik mana. Kau ingat tak ada ke orang yang super benci kau?

lebih ramai orang kau kenal lebih ramai yang membenci kau tau!

Persahabatan itu adalah sesuatu yang jelas. Persahabatan itu adalah satu jalinan yang harus disalurkan dengan rasa jujur dan ikhlas.
Mencari sahabat susahnya ibarat mencari deja vu.
Ada tapi tak wujud disitu. Kita terus dan terus mencari sehingga kita lupa bahawa ada misi yang lebih penting dari itu.

Persahabatan adalah sesuatu yang murni jika dinilai dengan mata hati.
Tapi kebanyakan kita pada hari ini telah mencemarkan kesucian nama persahabatan itu sendiri.

Entah.

Tapi pada aku, persahabatan itu sesuatu yang sukar untuk difahami. Sesuatu yang sangat berat untuk dijaga. Sesuatu yang sangat berharga, Tiada galang gantinya.

Selepas melalui beberapa 'ketika' dalam persahabatan semasa di zaman persekolahan , aku akui banyak perkara yang aku belajar. Namun, apa yang aku belajar itu kini menjerat aku disini,

Attitude aku harus diubah

Itu apa yang aku set dalam kepala apabila aku menjejakkan kaki ke dunia seorang mahasiswi.

aku diamkan apa yang tidak aku persetujui.
aku diamkan bila mereka menceroboh ruang privasiku,
aku diamkan bila mereka suka suka mengambil barang milikku.
aku diamkan bila mereka tidak mengikut rule aku apabila mereka ingin keluar masuk rumahku.

banyak yang aku tidak puas hati disini, tapi aku diamkan.
aku tak mahu mereka terasa dengan perkataan aku dan aku juga takut mereka gelar aku 'selfish'.
sungguh aku tidak mahu lagi mendengar perkataan itu.
Ia seakan menyiat-nyiat kulit ini.

aku diamkan semuanya. tidak seperti dulu. Kalau dulu aku akan terus bercakap tanpa pandang kiri kanan. Aku luahkan semuanya. Namun aku tetap dikatakan selfish. Disini, aku tidak mahu menjadi seorang yang pentingkan diri sendiri. Aku ambil kata-kata seorang sahabat sebagai nasihat. Aku berazam aku tak akan pentingkan diri kat sini. Aku cuba bertolak ansur dengan orang lain. Aku cuba memahami situasi mereka. dan aku lebih diam.

Tapi aku sedar, lebih banyak aku berdiam lebih banyak aku merasa sakit.
Aku cuba berfikir sepositive yang mungkin.
Aku cuba atasinya dengan mengatakan bahawa itu semua perkara remeh, tak perlu difikirkan sangat dan jangan mengada sangatlah Farah Farhana!

Tapi aku tak mampu nak tipu diri sendiri. Aku tidak menjadi diri sendiri dan aku seakan akan fake!
Aku tak bahagia dalam attitude ini. Aku bukan diri aku.

Kenapa hanya harus aku yang mengerti?
tidakkah mereka cuba menghormati aku dan ruang privasi aku?

Kita dilahirkan berbeza latar belakangnya. lalu mengapa semua orang menjangkakan yang kita akan suka apa yang mereka suka dan tak suka apa yang mereka tak suka?

boleh jadi sesuatu yang ringan buat kamu menjadi berat untuk orang lain.

sekarang siapa yang lebih mementingkan diri sendiri?

salah aku ke jika aku tak suka orang sentuh barang-barang aku?
is it my fault if I don't like people come in my bedroom while I'm sleeping? My roommate should alert with that yang dia tak boleh bagi friend of her buat macam tu but what should I say to her?
macam mana caranya aku nak cakap dengan dia supaya dia tak terasa?

salah ke jika aku seorang yang outspoken?

I just love my privacy so much! Tak semua benda yang I willing to share with you guys.

Sabar,
Sabar itu ada batasnya. Ketika entry ini aku post, tahap kesabaran itu sudah habis dan ia berganti pula dengan rasa amarah yang sedang membuak buak dalam dada. aku harus mencari solusinya. Aku tidak mahu kelancangan bahasaku nanti membuat mereka benci padaku.

tapi aku lebih benci pada diri aku sekarang ini. aku benci pada diri yang takut dibenci! Biarlah kalau mereka nak membenci pun, mereka bukannya pernah faham apa yang kita pernah lalui.
mereka bukan pernah faham! dan mereka bukan pernah puas hati dengan apa yang kita lakukan. Mereka sendiri pentingkan diri sendiri.
Menginginkan seseorang menjadi seperti apa yang mereka inginkan. Bukankah itu pentingkan diri?


people always tell us to be ourselve. when we already be ourselve they tend to hate us. Do you call this as fair? 
if you dare to ask people to be themselve, then please dare to accept them the way they are.

I don't know what the matter really is,
But one thing for sure, if management and student having problems between them how can we focus on what the objective really is?

I mean, antara kita pun nak berkelahi, so macam mana outsider nak percaya dengan potential of our college?

Trust.

It was so hard to gain people trust. I know because I ever lose it before

and I know how hurt it is to regain the trust without creating any more problems. 

You

You decide to go huh? 

you decide to let go your dream? ups sorry, I don't really know what your dream is.

pandai-pandai je I kan, so sorry for my misbehave. 

Taking that maryjane 'thingy' and you expected to score?

you can but you play more than enough. 

you can but you take it too much.

you have the urge to eat but you have no urge to not giving up on your studies!

This is just a beginning and you end it just like 'i want to quit!'

I don't know you are this weak and just if I know it a little bit earlier and if and only if

I have the courage that time, I surely will tell your parents before they

see you take that 'thing' in front of their eyes. 

you are addicted

wherever you go if you not stop taking that thing, you will go no where. 

You need to stop for your own good sake and for your mom sake, 

can you? owh..you have tried and I don't know! yeah, I don't know you kan. 

but I never see your effort, sorry to say this!

When you really feel down, just look at your back and you will see that there is so many person are willing to help you. They supported you all of this time and they just hope you could realise.

Your parents, your family, your friends, your bestfriend and.. your stranger.

Just wake up and go together. InsyaAllah, Allah will help us. Have faith in him.

Bye, Assalammualaikum :)

Hye There :))

I have been not blogging for quite some times, so Hello :)

Have been busy for the final exam and now the result already came out!!

yooyoo

Alhamdulillah, finally I can tell people that I have got straight a's, 

even that wasn't spm result but after all it still straight kan..

but no 4flat for this sem sebab there is a- in the list.

Thank you mamayah, adikakak and friends who never tired encouraging me and believing in me. 

The hope never fade away, the will become stronger. 

Thank you Allah, have faith in you, everything is possible to see :))

so, bye bye sem1 and welcome sem2

The things called jealousy never disappear in this world.

So keep calm and carry on, keep moving because that thing called jealousy will make you end up with happiness if you face it with patience and believe in faith.

Bye, Assalammualaikum!!

a little words...

I believe everything happen for a reason

people changed or maybe they just start being themselves, so that you can learn to let go.

Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they are right, 

you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one 

but yourself.

and sometimes good things fall apart so better things

can fall together.

For me, family means too much. Friends are too valuable and life is too short.

Sharing with people, how much they really mean to you

and how much their happiness is all what you aim in life. 

a little words :)

Cukup cintai dalam diam
Bukan kerana benci hadirnya cinta
Tetapi menjaga kesuciannya
Bukan kerana menghindari dunia
Tetapi meraih syurga-NYA
Bukan kerana lemah untuj menghadapinya
Tetapi menguatkan jiwa dari godaan syaitan yang begitu halus dan menyelusup

Cukup cintai dari kejauhan
Kerana hadirmu tiada mampu menjauhkan dari ujian
Kerana hadirmu hanya akan menggoyahkan iman dan ketenangan
Kerana mungkin membawa kelalaian buat hati hati yang terjaga

Cukup cintai dengan kesederhanaan
Memupuknya hanya akan menambah penderitaan
Menumbuhkan harapan hanya akan membuibui kebahagiaan para syaiitan

Cintailah dengan.keikhlasan
Kerana tentu kisah Fatimah dan Ali diingi oleh hati
Tetapi sanggupkah jika semua berakhir seperti sejarah cinta salman al farisi?

a little word :)

some may say NO 

some may say IMPOSSIBLE

Some may say MAYBE

Some may say DON'T KNOE

Some may say UP TO YOU

and it all seem like no one know what our heart demand.

we just go through our life and smile all over the time.

without people

people will never know what we feel

People have no ability to understand what actually in our mind

People can not ensure that our future will be bright

so, don't worry if people not stand beside you because Allah will always be 

Once again, it was my fault kan?

How nice it will be if and only you can listen.

even you listen, I am not guarantee that you will understand.

Wasting my time if I was bermati matian fight for the right and eventually I need to give in just because age and gender factor.

cut the crap.

People said ""

people said, "kalau dah jodoh tu, tak kemana" kan?

so why should i have this worries kan? why should I think about this too much kan?

accept the way it is je kan senang. 

people said , just go with the flow. 

Growing up ya!

we growing up and I just notice that we are growing up.

to be better or to be worse? Its our choice right?

Hey, I learn a lot. Thanks to people who directly or indirectly give me a lesson to learn. 

at least, I have another reason to be stronger. 

to let go. 

to handle my ego and estimate the condition to make sure my ego wouldn't stab me. 

we learn from mistakes kan. Whatever happen in my life before, has taught 

me to be who I am today. 

Plus, after I understand the rule of world which never stop judging, 

I realise that we will never be able to be happy just the way we are, 

yes, we say we don't care what people talk behind us. but cut the crap please because 

deep inside you do care. 

that feeling of care lah yang menimbulkan rasa marah, sedih and all. 

and yes, it does show that you mind this as your business.

what we can do is, respect as you can gain respect if and only if you give respect.

And, try look at our similarities and not the differences. 

after all differences is beautiful if you open your heart towards it. 

be bold. be firm. the journey is tough. the journey still long you never see the end.

Have faith in Allah and keep moving !!

see ya!

N M

SemBreak!!

Assalammualaikum!

Alhamdulillah, finally I have finished my first semester of Diploma in Maritime Transportation Management.
For one week, everyone seem contented with spirit. The high spirit.

After the last paper, I went back to Melawis (our hostel ) to pack my things up because we are asked by management to empty the house before 30 August 2013.
Because we will be staying at new hostel which located at EduCity, Nusajaya.
Our new campus just right in front our hostel.
This hostel is International hostel which will be home to student from NMIT, NewCastel and Southamptom.

I met En,Sapri the head of management at InternationalStudentVillage ISV. I aksed him to bring my friends and I to look around.
Me myself want to look each room they offer and prepare for us and so far I can say that I am satisfied with the accommodation provided.

This time, how management will manage? we'll see.

In this four month time. I can conclude so many thing as I have learned so much.
sometimes I think it was too much but then, it's all planned by Allah and know that this might be the best for me and all.
samada lesson or blessed. Both of them will give us benefit. InsyaAllah.

Friendship.
Love. (samada the monkey one or betul punya one )

Both of them happened in my life during this four month and I bet all of us in this stage do face these two.

I have learned that, sometimes our action either bad or good does affect other people.
I mean, people will regard your topic with someone else. Like someone else will get the blame because of your action.
You might not think about it. I mean, all of us want to be 'just be ourselves',
but we often forget about our image. Yes, it is true that we can not shut those fuck mouth up but at least we can make it less if we behave ourselves.

secara logiknya, dah tahu perangai buruk, tak kan u still nak stay in that condition. kan?
don't you wanna change?
I mean, all of us in stage of learning. we can slowly change. right?

I also learned that wrong people will not get angry and wrong people have  no right to get angry.
This might not apply to all condition la kan,
but apa yang try to be delivered here is, once you know you have commit a mistake and you know you have highhh ego that you try to defend, the best solution is keep quiet.
Don't ever think about yourself. Never feel like you are the only one who have ego and keep anger.
Other have it and it might be higher than yours and the affect is you can not even imagine.
One more thing, if you have made mistake, I don't think that you should cover it by others mistakes. It make you look worst.

*Hrmm*
This sem break, my friends spend it with different activity from mine.
Dd at Putrajaya. envy her. I really wanted to do facial and so on at her mom's spa.
Fara and Aimy at Pulau Tioman and I was like, 'pity me'
For me?
Lets spending it with reading!! urghh

Childish Thingy

Assalammualaikum

After a few days, few weeks and now a few months. I think I should just express everything. Everything about what I have see and what I have been going through in this time.

I didn't mean to open anyone's aib.
I hope people who read this will 'muhasabah' our own self before judge others or before talk to others.
The way we act. The way we talk. It represent who we are.

Since I enter NMIT for the first time. I told myself
"Na, change yourself first! don't judge others and be friend with everyone! don't hate anyone!"
and I hold a principle saying everyone born with different background

so, I don't have any right to put them in my shoes and I always treat them the way I always wanted people treat me. 
respect.understand.acceptance

Now, I have finished my four month studying at NMIT and staying at Melawis.
What I can say is, I have a lot tell!!

Kalau kita tak sedia untuk berubah dan melihat kejahatan orang lain, setiap kata-kata jangan diluahkan.
Just keep in your head. why?
sebab bila you start kutuk kutuk perbuatan orang then, tak sampai five minutes you pun berubah fikiran untuk do the same things, orang like akan menyampah gila.

example : my muallaf friend will going to night club with her friends who fetched her at our hostel. They invited one of my housemate named A. and I was lepak-ing at hall watching television with my housemates B and C. When we heard that A, my muallaf friends and her friend want to go to nightclub I was like urmm..C talk to me as she hate the way those three people act but then when my muallaf friends asked her out together with them, then C just agreed and followed them. When they are going out, none of them is looking at me. After few minutes they left the house, C called B. C asked B what I'm saying about her.

Hello who am I to jugde others? But literally I have something in my head.
"Tak perlu kot nak kutuk orang lain sedangkan dalam hati kita sebenarnya marah depa tak invite kita"

But it does not stop till there je.

You dah feel the taste of air setan tu kan then, dah la.
Nak mengamuk kat orang lain pasai apa?
Hang nak tutup salah hang ka?
Hang nak tutup rasa malu hang ka?

What you have done is totally your fault. I never ask you to follow them. They did not force you but you are the one who can not control your lust.
You nak salahkan siapa?
You bawa lelaki masuk bilik you, salah siapa? You nak put the entire blame to who?
It was you. It was all about you.
Then when you saw me you slamp your door. Think like I'm scared?

Pity you my dear. You commit a mistake and you never care to ask for forgiveness.
Then, you make everything complicated on yourself with your anger.

If someone is doing right , they will not get angry.
If someone is doing wrong, they have no right to get angry.

You really look dumb when you try to put the blame to others yet people doesn't fall into your act!
You tend to describe people as not 'mature' and so on and do you think that you mature enough?

Macam mana kuat pun kau hempas pintu tu, kau tak mampu padam kesalahan yang kau dah buat melainkan dengan meminta maaf.

Till here.

Assalammualaikum,

Rest For a Week

Final exam week 

( 12 August 2013 -  19 August 2013 ) 

Tomorrow start with Business Information System

May Allah Bless

"Ya Allah, kau ampunilah dosaku. Kau terangilah hatiku agar ilmu yang aku pelajari pada malam ini dapat aku muntahkan pada paper exam nanti. Semoga belajarku bukan belajar untuk exam saja. Semoga apa yang aku pelajari akan kekal agar dapat aku praktikkan dikemudian hari. InsyaAllah. Ameen"

Ya Allah, kecilnya dunia

to be continue .....

I want to cry right now 

malam

Be bold. Be firm. Don't cry. Let smile =)

a little words..

Selamat Hari Raya 2013

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI from Karim's family. 

Will update later!

screenshoot by xperia L

Happy Eid Mubarak :')

Assalammualaikum, 
since last day, banyak ucapan Hari Raya masuk. Tak kira dari facebook, twitter, whatapps, wechat mahupun SMS. 
Jari jemari bermain di papan kekunci. Otak ligat berfikir menyusun ayat agar bicaranya nanti tidak menggores hati mana-mana pihak. 
Tapi kesibukan yang melanda membuat aku tidak punya masa untuk membalasnya. 
atau lebih tepat lagi, otak tak boleh nak generate idea yang best-best. 

orang kata, katakan apa sahaja yang terlintas dalam minda dan lahir dalam hati. 
tapi I choose to think! lols

so, here I want tell you guys:

I have my own objective. I have my own goal. I have my own principle. I am educated. I am visionary girl. Kind of. I can tolerate with you but I am firm. I can consider but I am a fighter. 

Dalam perjuangan diatas perjalanan yang berliku ini, I seringkali terlupa. 

Terlupa untuk menjaga hati yang sentiasa ada disisi, menemani suka duka perjalanan. 

Terlupa untuk menjaga tutur kata. Biasanya nada I keras je, but please understand I have no intention. 

Ada benda yang susah nak ubah and I susah nak ubah my tone. 

Dalam perjuangan ni, I mungkin terleka. 

Dari segi tingkah dan laku juga banyak silapnya. 

Andai kata ada yang terasa mahupun terguris dengan setiap tindakan yang I ever done please forgive me. 

Aku mungkin tak perasan. ohh aku mengaku..kadang kadang aku sengaja butakan mata. 

pura pura tak perasan. 

heartless kan. 

Di kesempatan ini, sepuluh jari aku hulurkan memohon keampunan. Lidah dan hatiku hari ini bergerak seiring. Aku benar-benar mengharap kemaafan dari kalian agar segala urusan nanti dipermudahkan. 

Di kesempatan ini juga, aku berharap agar ukhwah yang terjalin dapat dikukuhkan. semoga apa yang pernah terjadi antara kita dijadikan pengajaran dan terus sama sama mengorak langkah menuju kejayaan. 

@mama @ayah @Diba @An @Kim @Kyra @Atikah @MintOzei @Fers @Farhah @Amalyna @Aisyah @Syakira @Najihah @Najeeha @Erra @Syaza @IliIzyan @Hajeera @Nasrul @Syed @Syafiq @Putera @Ranesh @Sufi @Ali @Mardhiyyah @Ezzue @Min @Pipa @AtiqWaiz @Dayah @Aimy @Kira @Sara @KakWendy @Puput @Earnest @Loloq @Faiz @Ameer @Danial @Afiq @Haziq @Husna @Aisyah @Mirul @Fauzan @Alin @BabaOzei @AuntyNajmah @AuntyUncleFers

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

Ramadhan :')

Ramadhan pergi meninggalkan. 

Thaun ini tak tahu mahu rasa seperti apa. 

Tahun ini, tak tahu apa yang berkocak dalam dada. 

Bukan tak suka raya menyapa, cuma mungkin belum puas bersama Ramadhan. 

Entah. 

Terasa banyak yang tidak lengkap. 

Bocor sana sini. 

Kurang sana sini. 

Terawih?

aku hanya berharap agar sempatlah kiranya aku berjumpa Ramadhan depan, 

agar terawih dapat aku perbaiki. 

Noble Quran?

menangis rasanya jika disoal. 

adik aku pun mampu khatam. 

Apalah yang aku sibukkan sangat dengan urusan dunia. 

Ramadhan. 

We never know our path will bring us this far. 

I never imagine that I will experience this moment at the very young age. 

I thought it would happen when I am 25 to 27.

I told my friends ya..and they not believe it. Haha!

siapa je yang nak percaya at this moment?

I was very the kelam kabut with final exam preparation and need to tempuh two month of short semester and then think about the majlis and so on. 

I really hope my besfriends can help me on that day. 

At this stage, I know we cannot turn back. The decision has been made. 

At this stage we must be strong and carry on. 

I am not ready yet :'(

to be continued...

NotPerfectEither

Aku sendiri masih belum sempurna. 

Masih kurang sini dan sana. 

Jika kesempurnaan yang kau cari, maka bahagia tak akan pernah menjengahmu. 

Kerana tiada yang namanya sempurna pada manusia. 

Jika ada, kesempurnaan itu hanya akan wujud dengan penyatuan dua insan. 

Aku juga masih belum sempurna. 

Kita semua merasakan itu. 

Tapi selagi jiwa dan hati memiliki niat seiring untuk berubah lebih kearah kebaikan, 

lalu kenapa tidak dipujuk hati ini,

perlahan lahan keluar dari belengu dunia kelam. 

"Follow the stars, it leads you to home"

I have no right to tell you what is wrong and what is right.

You try to change and I know that.

Slowly. 

Stoner will always be a stoner. 

But deep down, are you sure you tak pernah ada sedikit pun perasaan untuk berubah?

you question it by yourself. 

I just learn from my mistake and others mistake. 

I just look around. 

Just live your life. The way you want it. 

You are educated and visionary person.

I sure you know the best for you. 

Nah..satu senyuman paling manis untuk you. 

to be continued....

Long Time No See Ma Friend

Kami iftar bersama setelah sekian lama dipisahkan oleh sempadan sempadan negeri. Kedah, Perak, Selangor, Johor dan Sarawak. I do miss them. Thanks a lot to Amalyna who fetch me up and send me back savely. Thanks to Najeeha, Aisyah, Syaza, Syak, Gha and Wajihah who sudi menghadirkan diri. 

Long time no see ma friend. 

Secara fizikalnya, tiada perubahan ketara kelihatan atau ditonjolkan. 

dari segi pemakaian juga. Mereka masih sempoi seperti biasa. 

All those perangai gila-gila masih wujud dalam cell cell darah mereka. 

Tak nampak tapi dapat dirasa, melalui pancaindera yang ke enam. 

Long time no see ma friend.

Actually there is lot more yang I do want tell you guys, 

but masa always jadi constraint yang utama. Masa itu seakan tak pernah kenal erti penat untuk berlari dan kita masih tercungap-cungap mengejarnya. Kenapa?

Sekadar berjumpa, kau pandang muka aku dan aku pandang muka kau. Itu tak pernah cukup. 

Long time no see ma friend.

Namun I still glad because at least I am able to see you guys again. This might be my last Ramadhan and at least in this last Ramadhan, I have chance to spend some time for you guys. 

Bila masing masing dah bersepah serata Malaysia dengan jadual yang sungguh berbeza setiap satunya, pasti akan menyukarkan keadaan. Tapi itulah kenyataan yang harus ditempuh. 

Seharusnya kita sudah bersedia sejak spm lagi. Sepatutnyalah. Tapi kebiasaannya kita hanya lakukan apa yang tidak patut sahaja. llols. 

Long time no see ma friend. 

Even it was just a short meeting but I want you know how much it means to me. 

People may look it as a simple dinner but for me it was precious.

we have our own world when we are together. 

I always hope that we will be bonded until hereafter. because I do believe 

friendship doesn't look at miles. It never depends on how much you talk to each other 

but its all depends on your heart, sincerity, honesty, passion and love. 

Long time no see ma friends and I just want let you know that you guys will remains in my minds as long as Allah Willing. 

Losing of someone you loved.

Long time no see. Long time no talk.

I miss my uncle. but each time I say that sentence I hate myself more than anything else.

It was fake.

The fact is I never miss my late uncle.

Because if I do miss him, at least I can recite Fatihah for him.

At least I can pray for him.

but in my dua, I always forget to pray for others success and health.

I am just thinking about myself and everything which related only with me.

Thinking this, I just hate myself.

I know I must start to change it by now. I really hope people can pray for me.

I have never experience of losing someone I really love and close to me.

That is why I can not understand your feeling.

I am really sorry and I do mean it.

but I also do not want to be at your place. I don't want the feeling of losing.

But what I can say is,

When Allah do something like take your love ones, he must do it for a reason.

so, stay strong and believe in him.

Ermm..I really don't know how to comfort people who in sadness of losing person they loved.

I am so sorry because I can't help you in reducing your problems, fear and sadness. I hope you will meet someone who can ease your mind and heart. I am really sorry.

I do feel bad. 

Mistakes :)

Our biggest mistake is that we never learn from the mistake we have commit. 

We let our self fall in the same hole again and over again. 

We never care about ourselves yet yell at people why they don't even give respect to us.

In my point of view, actually we simply judge others and ask them 

why you can't even do that? its look simple in my eyes? 

simple does not always mean easy. 

we tend to forget all those things and keep repeating those same mistake. 

Through that way, we will never learn. 

Scrolling down :)

I am scrolling down my own blog. 

Read all those old entries. 

about friends and spm and etc

When I look back, i actually have shared so many stories about life

and yet not notice it until now. 

because I notice that after I am being a student, I mean "university life"

I have no times and ideas to share. 

Maybe I'm not really jump into my feeling and 

dig out my own thought..kind of.

Dulu waktu I muda teenager, I always want to be at the place where I will get busy doing assignment and not wearing school uniform. Now when I already stand at the place I wish for, I start miss my old life.
After all, school is the best place ever!

a little words...

hope

Harapan itu always exist in each soul who believe.

Harapan should be seiring dengan Effort.

a little words..

Hijab

Catatan ini ditujukan buat yang diingati. 

Catatan ini ditujukan buat mereka yang bisa mengerti. 

Catatan ini buat mereka yang ditakdirkan untuk membacanya. 

namun. 

catatan ini bukan berniat untuk menyakiti.

mahupun melukai mana mana pihak yang berkaitan.

Catatan ini wujud kerana the author of this blog asyik berfikir kebelakangan ini. 

berfikir tentang isu ini. 

Islam. 

agama yang sangat indah jika dipelajari. 

sebenarnya kita lupa, yang perlu belajar tentang Islam bukan hanya non-muslim atau muallaf sahaja tapi yang paling utama ialah orang Isalam itu sendiri.

Bagaimana mahu mempertahankan agamamu jika agamamu itu tidak kamu pelajari?

sebab tu zaman sekarang banyak 'followers' not 'believers'.

sebab itu, zaman sekarang wujud hanya Islam pada nama, ic card and etc.

Hakikatnya, jiwa kita sendiri belum betul-betul Islam. 

(same here)

Hijab. 

Hijab itu melindungi.

straight to the point : ramai perepuan Islam free hair and bagi so much reason and some of them; 

1. belum sampai seru

2. yang bertudung pun belum tentu baik. 

those two yang paling common la kan. so lets discuss about it.

Belum sampai seru. Urmm. Kalau nak diikutkan, Rasulullah dah seru semua umat Islam untuk menutup aurat baik perempuan mahupun lelaki sejak berabad lama. sebelum kewafatan baginda lagi. Yes, I always told my friend that I hold one principal that is, "everyone is born with diff background". 

I sure all of you agree with me. 

Tapi kita tidak boleh jadikan itu sebagai alasan. Sebab Allah kurniakan kita akal untuk berfikir mana yang baik dan mana yang buruk. Allah berikan kita akal untuk berfikir agar kita dapat fahami mengapa DIA menetapkan hukum-hukum seperti itu. 

Allah nak kita belajr. 

contoh paling mudah; Seorang lelaki bernama Zefus membesar dari keluarga yang sangat berada. Dia memiliki setiap sesuatu yang dia pinta. tapi satu dunia tahu dia ni suka bunuh orang. tak suka je bunuh, tak suka je bunuh. Bila ditanya kenapa dia suka bunuh orang? tak takut dosa ke? bila nak bertaubat and etc. 

Jawapan yang Zefus bagi is 'belum sampai seru'

kalau nak tunggu seru dia sampai, berapa ramai orang menderita sebb kehilangan orang yang tersayang? 

sama juga, 

kalau nak tunggu seru kita sampai baru nak bertudung, berapa banyak dah dosa ayah kita tanggung? kata sayang ayah?  walau macam mana sakit dan perit pun hati kita sebab ayah suruh buat tu, buat ni, tapi dia tetap ayah kita. 

kadang kadang ada benda yang kita perlu paksa diri kita untuk buat. seperti paksa diri kita untuk berubah kepada yang lebih baik. paksa diri kita untuk lupakan kekasih lama. paksa diri kita untuk study. paksa diri kita untuk bangun sahur. 

semua itu memerlukan paksaan pada awalnya, tapi lama kelamaan sudah menjadi kebiasaan bukan?

Bagi alasan yang kedua pula;

Benar, yang pakai tudung belum tentu baik tapi yang baik memang bertudung.

sekurang-kurangnya kita tetap akan dapat pahala sebab tutup aurat walaupun akhlak kurang baik. kalau soal akhlak itukan boleh diubah. kita boleh belajar and improve. semua benda perlu belajar.

tapi,

kalau kita buat baik sekalipun tapi tak bertudung apa gunanya. dosa all the time masuk buku. bukan tu je, bohonglah kalau kata kita tak pernah buat dosa. yang maksum tu Nabi Muhammad je. dan yang menanggung dosa bukan kita je, kita seret sekali ayah kita, atok kita, abang kita, adik lelaki kita, suami kita and anak lelaki kita.

berbeza dengan pakai tudung tapi tak comfirm baik. sekurang-kurangnya dosa dia ditanggung sendiri tanpa menarik ayah,abang atok and etc semua sebab dia dah tutup aurat dia.

Ini bukan soal hipokrit atau munafik.
Ini bukan soal mahu jadi diri sendiri.
Kita perlu sentiasa ingat,
kadang kadang setiap tindakan yang kita ambil, bukan hanya melibatkan diri kita sahaja.
kadang-kadang ia melibtakan banyak pihak.
kita sendiri pun sebagai Islam, berjalan diatas muka bumi dengan membawa nama Islam.
kalau buruk perbuatan kita maka buruklah nama agama kita.

Walaupun hati belum berasa ikhlas, kita perlu ingat satu perkara 'berusaha' kerana hidayah Allah tak kan datang kalau tak dicari.
Bermula dengan menutup aurat sepenuhnya.
agar dosa menjadi kurang.
mohon keampunan dari Allah.
hilangkan titik titik hitam yang menghalang hidayah.
mudah-mudahan kita semua mendapat jawapan.

Catatan ini ditujukan obviously untuk diri sendiri juga. Maaflah andai kata ada mengguris hati u olls semua. Ini semua untuk peringatan diri I sendiri. Tak ada niat nak menyindir or else.

virus abnormal

"kalau sekali namanya kebetulan. kalau kali kedua, adakah itu suratan?"

Pertamanya aku perlu mengerti apakah itu kebetulan dan apakah itu yang disebut-sebut sebagai suratan. 

Urmmm.

Flashback...flashback guys..

Library ni tak macam libaray seyh. Some watch the movies, listen to the list of songs and some just enjoy their nap. Frankly, I don't mind pun tapi agak-agaklah.

Volume reach till the max. Macamlah satu libarary nak tahu apa yang kau tengah buat.

(manusia yang suka mementingkan diri sendiri semakin bertambah. Pin ya!!)

Lols, banyaknya assignment. 

Should be : one task at one time
what happen : taskSsss at one time

Kedua belah tangan busy dengan laptop, pen, paper, notebook and files. 

Uruskan kesemuanya. 

Tiba-tiba nampak dia. Nampak dia. Nampak dia. 

mata terpaku pada dia. 

tapi hati tak ada vibration. 

"would you marry me?"

bersambung....

cerita ini hanyalah rekaan semata-mata. tiada kaitan antara yang hidup ataupun yang sudah meninggal dunia. Kebosanan melanda merupakan faktor utama idea ini dimuntahkan. 

A little word called 'sorry'

Why do we ask 'SORRY' even when we're not wrong..?

* Why do we ask 'SORRY' even when we're not wrong..??
* Why do we 'BEND' ourselves in front of the person we care..??
* Why do we feel pleasure in 'HURTING' the one we love..??
* Why do we get 'CONSOLED' only when we cry on their shoulders who made us to cry..??

Because,
Some PAINS are more enjoyed than happiness!
Some RELATIONS are more important than ego!
Some DEFEATS are more triumphant than victory!
Some MOMENTS are more precious than breath.

I miss the smell of rain,

I got drunken by the rains,
my cloth wet.
I was hiding under the bullets of the rain.

I miss those day we shout in the storm and thunder.
Expecting people couldn't hear.

I miss the smell of rain which make me feel connected to the world.
I miss the smell of rain, where I always get wet and everything
about you diffuse in my mind and all over the body.

I got spelled  in the rain. lols

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

I miss the smell of rain,

I got drunken by the rains.

I miss the smell of rain,

I got drunken by the rain.
my cloth wet.
I was hiding under the bullets  of rain.

I miss those day we shout together in
the storm and thunder,
expecting people couldn't hear.

I miss the smell of rain.
which make me feel connected to the world.

I miss 

I miss the smell of mud,
we got stain on the face.

The mud was dried and attached on our skin.

I miss the smell of mud,
where we don't care about anything
but keep playing

we are so free.

I miss the smell of mud.
it make your look bad,
but never hide your pure heart.

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

Ayah said "macam mana nak kahwin sem2 macam ni?"
I was like "apa ayah?"

Our story never have the ending.
be strong and stay strong.

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

You know she's truly hurt when she chooses to ignore you :)

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

You know she's truly hurt when she chooses to ignore you :)

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

you are a stoner.
you got high.
you baked.
That is what make you today.

I don't know where all of this is starting from.
I hope you are fine.

You are stoner.
get high.
you baked and still energetic at midnight.

I don't know why you start it.
I don't know what inside you.
but, please know I do interested in your life.

Bye
Assalammualaikum.

Friendship Day

Happy Friendship Day Kawans;

Assalammualaikum,
to all my friends, bestfriends and strangers.
Thank you for everything you have done to delight my days.
without you, I might never learn.

To mama and Kak Farah,
you guys are the best nest bestfriend I ever had.

Got to go. Really fast huh?
later I update more.
xoxo

By
assalammualaikum :)

Terasa mahu menghentikan waktu,
biar masa tak berjalan kerana saat itu mencambah rasa bahagiaku.

namun aku sedar, sejauh mana bahagia itu.
aku harus menghormati keputusan dia.
kerana mungkin,
saat iru adlh saat luka baginya.

Izinkan mereka lepas dari kekusutan.
moga Allah memberi lain. Cara dan jalan.
InsyaAllah

For this few days, I hope I can stand still.
I must hold on.
Just few days left.
counting the day.

Iftar dengan maggi hari ni.

Baru rasa hidup di perantauan.
mamaayah, jangan risau.
anakmu ni sihat sihat sahaja.
doakan kesejahyetaannya.
InsyaAllah minggu depam kita bersua muka.

Rindunya pada kalian semua

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.

Talk to Amalyna on the phone for 1:06:36.
From 3:58am.

Relieve.
Happy.
Satisfaction.
You don't know how much I miss to talk with my friend because we are like thunder.
Don't know how to stop.

Bye.
Assalammualaikum :)

Done with all assignment and presentation.
Fullness of relieve.
Next week 

To my dear sister Amalyna and Najeeha;

I suppose to write this on 25 May 2013 but I fall asleep and my Internet was cut off due to the late payment.

We are growing up faster than we can ever imagine. Right?
Do you remember the days we dream to be a doctor?
Do you remember the days we dream to build Beta's hospital where all of us as the
Board of Director cum the doctors?
There is also hotel which will be build just next to the hospital and we named it Beta's?

We are growing up faster than we can ever imagine. Right?
Do you remember the day we don't know each other?
Do you remember when our first 'Hi' to each other?
Do you remember the year I believe you hate me. Kinda of?
Do you remember the days we starts coming to be bestfriends?
Do you remember the days we hanging out together?
Do you remember the days we share our secrets?
Do you remember the days we're not talking to each other?
Do you remember the picture you snap without me on our last days of SPM?
Do you remember the day of SPM result's announcement?
Do you remember all those stuff?

We are growing up faster than we can ever imagine. Right?
Those kind of things have teach us to be better for the next day.
To appreciate and respect more.

Today,
both of you are in science field.
I notice that only me who not taking science field.
I hope you guys will end up to be a doctor. Just like what you have planned before.
I wish you guys to have the courage and braveness to go through the challenge in order to fulfill your dream.
If you are falling down, no..no..you will never falling down.
Because you are stronger than you thought.
The eager of doing better can be seen through your eyes.

Happy Belated Birthday :)

To  my dear sister Didi;

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
Don't hold it anymore. You will get hurt more and more.

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
You have been strong enough in front of us.

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
Because I know it doesn't easy to cover up.

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
I know how hurt it is putting hope on something will never happen.

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
I know how hurt it is hoping that 'nothing is impossible' will really come real.

Let it out.
Cry.
Let the tears down.
because I know how much you like him

That's not your fault for having this feeling towards him.
That's not his fault for not giving you a feedback.
That's not her fault to be the one who he loved.

The fact is,
The truth is,
We are all in learning process.

Be glad cause you reach this stage.
The stage that show your normality.

I'm with you babe :)

same apply with me here,
Farhana Karim, please be bold and firm.

Bye,
Assalammualaikum.