I never expect this;

we never thought it gonna be worsen. 

I do regret it but one thing that make me relive is I've told you the truth. 

There is change we can control and there is don't 

and in this 'case' 

I cannot control . fingers note.. xd

HOLD ON

I accept my past.

I live for today and I hoping for tomorrow.

dear my love (it can be family or friends), keep moving and hold on. 

we never know what will happen tomorrow. 

It just can be anything that we never expect.

Everything happen for a reason and I'm sure you will be thankful

for what had happen. fingers note ...xd

Don't buried your dream :)

I believe in Allah

how hard the journey

how hurt it is

believe me there is something that HE will give you as a present. 

keep calm. fingers note..xd

They know my footstep;

I love the moment when we all gathering and share the stories. 

my sadness disappears and you show that you care. 

we know each other as we can guessing the footsteps correctly 

I love you family : )

Reflection

we want to share but sometimes the voice stuck at throat. 

fingers note..

never look back. 

regretting is possible.

 you can build much things forward while you cannot change a thing at back.

fingers note...( :

You don't know. Don't you?

when I'm crying

they think I ask them to let me alone even I'm not telling. 

but what they don't know is I hope they will come and hug me. 

so that I know there is someone care and give me another reason 

to stay strong : ) fingers note..

Real one hard to find : )

they didn't need to be strangers or friends because 

they can be our dad, mom, sister(s) or brother(s).

fingers note..xd

Cahienria's heart : )

I always hoping that everyday could be a new great day

and I always want to be stronger than yesterday, 

so I can act tough when someone or something hurt me. 

cause I wouldn't let my heart breaks into pieces : ) 

fingers note.. 

fingers note : )

Run away? DON'T!!

you may feel ashamed and people may look weird towards you, 

but be brave and face it. 

I remember when I blaming ones to avoid the punishment, yet I'm trapped into another problems. 

I feel like the problems never reach the end, 

but once I admit the wrong I've made and seek for the forgiveness

the problems fade away one by one and now 

I can smile brightly : ) fingers note..xx

Believe yourself :)

"maybe I am not your favorite one but I am the only one you have" Athara

there is no one like you in the earth. fingers note..xx

I believe in 2nd meet :)

I see you that day. 

I look at you but not directly at your eyes. 

There is something about you that make me attracted to. 

you just past me [HE & SHE]

and I know we will never meet again. 

but I was wrong when I bumped up with you once again.

who expect that. do you? 

I don't know you before. 

but now I can tell myself about you. 

we never bumped up with someone who have nothing with us. 

they could be our friend, family or our love one day. who knows? 

#Allah had planned it very well. fingers note... :xd

Dejavu or Maya

what you see might be wrong

what you didn't see might be right 

what you heard might be lies 

what you can't hear might be the truth

can you find the similarities? 

don't straight away believe what you see and heard because there is always lies 

within our surrounding. 

There is time, you cannot estimate either it is true or not. 

There is time, you do not know what you should believe and what you should not. 

things that exist may not exist 

things that not exist may be exist

we never know. fingers note xx:

supersomething#1

when it is all about friendship, 

I cries behind those fake smile. 

when it is all about friendship, 

I smile behind those fake cries.

yet I smile when all the moment with them rewind in my mind 

fingers note xx

My past and I warn you !!

past does affect our personality today.
it does not matter either the past is bad or good.
ones can be better or be worst.
everything depends on its surrounding and how he/she adapt it.
for ones who have some good past,
you should feel glad for that because not everyone lucky as you.
you can keep added the bliss and smile facing the matters.
but there is something i want to tell you.
or in my words, I warn you !!
1. don't act like you know others very well because there is something hidden in his/her chest which you will never able to dig out because it is too personal to be shared.
2. don't demanding. people tend to love beauty and things that close to materialism. Stop demanding and love people more as you are not perfect too when you look yourself in the mirror.
3. don't judging people. eg:
:o) she have no friends beside her, does not mean that she's not good enough,
     maybe she's the victim of betrayal.
:o) she have no boyfriend, does not mean that she's not pretty enough.
maybe she want to make her future husband the luckiest one.
:o) she got F for every exam, does not mean she's stupid,
maybe she have advantages at other sect.

because not everyone in this world born to be captain. some may have to be crew, so the ship can move. you can think logically and stop pointing fingers.
our life is different at some part.
we can never make it same.
so live your life as I live my life.
CAHIENRIA note xx

untitled

Personally, I currently love dawn. I love how calm it was, before the bird chirps. I love the smell from my dad's flowers and trees. The mix remind me of my happy childhood. I still remember those days when ayah had time to play outdoor games with all of us. As we grow up, our responsibility also grow together with us.

And morning sky always refreshed my thoughts. It's good to have some me time with a cup of coffee. My life looks boring to some people, but I truly enjoy it sincerely. Every beats, every second, I want to live up to my potential. Honestly, I don't know where my writing is going to? I can't really find a topic, but I just feels like expressing everything I had inside. 

bla..bla..bla!!

sometimes I cannot stop talking till I forget which one I want to pick as randomly topic to be written here. 

I am so energetic ^^ kan Ili Izyan??
From MSDC 

fingers note xx:

jejak kasih :o))

Finally its end very well.
I try to give them the best welcome as I always did to others.
Yea, I am a talkactive person, that is because I always realise that my life isn’t about for1000 years. My time may be stop today, tonight, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. So, why should scared to just be friendly to others?
So why should I be so shy to know others and be one of a good character in their stories?
heheheh.. that is always me who love to be popular and usually I am over acting!!
but seriously ~.~ that is me!! Never pretended and fake

Aunty Intan is such a cool aunty I ever meet. We didn’t feel like we’re so so a stranger. Auucchh.. looked at her and mama having conversations, make me crazily want to be 18 but as there is still a few months for me to be 17, so I want to enjoy it with things which will benefit me, my future and everyone who stay besides me!!

Kak Nad and Dik Nad.
ok, confuse disitu!!
Kak Nadhira(20) and Nadia(15).
nice girls.
even we are not so close but I believe if they can stay any longer, we can be bestfriend you know. That is because I’m simple. Actually I am not so simple, maybe this holiday teach me to start a new life with more positive thinking. Cause I believe, through that way, I can see the world differently :o))

Fingers note…

Study Abroad ((o:

After had a heavy breakfast I sign in my facebook page, 

going through all the status update and new stories about growing up teens. 

Next week, Nina will enter INTI college for one year and eight month,

after that short period she will continue in making her degree at States :o))

(I envy her) >o<

Dear Nina;

                

                We are not so close before and we share much things recently. I think time changed us to be better and mature. Fisrt time I saw you when we are in Form 1, serious to dead I think you are weird. As we growing up, I realise that being weird is not weird. The weird things is when people cannot accept the weirdness of people as they know all of us created so differently. Actually, everyone is weird when they just be themselves. Nowdays people so scared to show the inside of her/his character. They scared of criticism just as I do. So, they keep pretend and being so fake just as I did. Today, I completely realise that the precious thing is when we found who we really are and we can freely be who we are in public or in any kind of situation. Ohh yes.. I learned much from secondary school. 

 

              Next week you will make your first step right. so soon you know as I still need to wait for another six month. adeeshhh. One year and eight month is not a long period. pejam celik pejam celik dah habis, so do your best. After that you will continue at US (happy right?) and you are soooo lucky you know!! Its okay, I will be there too. If not for study, maybe for a vocation or maybe for my honeymoon.. mwheheheh!!!

 

              I hope you will be fine. I hope you will be ok. I hope you will be happy. I hope there is some stories that you can share with me once you back here. I hope you will be a great engineer one day and the most important thing, I hope all your wishes, dream, ambition will come true. 

 

our journey still long to be ended ; 

 

with love,  

 

medic.medic.medic

egypt.egypt

InsyAllah

Allah, please help me. Please guide me in the journey you specified for me.

Allah please help me as I'm not strong enough to fight my lust, 

Allah please help to achieve my dreams and in order to be a good caliph.

May Allah Bless

fingers note ...

Journals

I have a few journals. 

It contains a lot of stories about me and my life

as I sort everything about me and what happen in my daily life.

There is no lies and I didn't hiding behind my handwritting. 

some are all about my family and another some are about my friends, 

each stories is different cause it does not happen in same date and time, 

but all of the tale is wrote by the same person that is me. 

my journal is just about one page left, 

so I need a new journal. 

I don't like journal which full of decoration, 

just enough with messy and simple font.

fingers note xxox ..

Mama Old Stories =))

I could never imagine not to have her by myside for this my lifetime.

I know how much I depended on her and how much sacrifies that she made for me.

Few days ago she got a phone call from her coursemate- the very old friend.

they are not seeing each other since both of them graduated, 

and for me, it is just nice to meet your old friends in such a very different situation. 

now they are married

now they have at least 5 kids

and now they have their own career.

tomorrow, aunty Intan will come!!

yes I can tell that my mom so exited :o))

one day

just one fine day

i will experience it too :o))

beside those people who I love very much, 

with a good career- doctor - If Allah will 

and with cutes kids

we see the future by loving and hoping for the best future we ever see along our journey. 

It never be your fault to have such a big dream if you put your effort to it,

but if we didn't ger what we hoped for, that is mean Allah have planned something that may be the best for us. HE will never be cruel to HIS servant. It just us who never feel enough and thankful!!

fingers note xx

this holiday I spent with such a good and valuable things, activities. 

I helped ayah at his camp site.

Managing the account.

Yes, its a good start and that is all because of blessing from Allah. 

I spent my time with my friends pretty much. 

talking about adult things and the story of growing up. 

included LOVE STORY-of course :xd

other than that, I just spent my time with my family, 

we are not such a big family but enough to make me in big tense, laughter and happiness. 

my sisters and brothes annoy me, yet there are the one who make me happy, 

we done exhilarating things and we are happy in the way we created it. 

having one month with them, is more than enough for me to experience all the feelings like;

anger, sadness, disappointment, annoy, jerk, happiness, joy, patience.

time passed and next week all of them will go back to school, 

 Kak Farah will going back to uitm puncak perdana,
this 29 of dec, mama will send Nuar back to smap Labu as he was chosen to be mpp
so he must be there earlier than his other friends.
so this house will be silent again :o(
but do not worry, I believe as long as I still alive in this house,
this castle will never getting too silent. Hehehe. You know what I will do huhh "kerek"

Well, I will just stay at home and do home 'work' !!
cooking , laundry-ing, washing , sweeping.
for the next 6 month, this is my - to-do-list and the major one is ironing my sister's uniform,
mama's kurung and ayah's suit.
Ohh.. I nearly forget that I need to fetch my brother & sister too from school too.
(sengih-sengih) more new job !!

a little words

Old Album

 

 my little sister

 

 

she's still cute. Even now!!

 

 

old picture but still fresh in my mind :o))

Brcause we are unique & different

Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them.

Let's try to figure out why they do what they do.

That is not profitable and intriguing then critisim;

and its breeds symphaty, tolerance and kindness.

"To know all is to forgive all"

Don't criticize, condemn or complain. fingers note.

Medic

I have make a decision, 

A really big decision, 

It is hard for me to make it but I believe this is the best!!

I want to be a Doctor. 

A doctor who will work in a specialist hospitals

A doctor who will open her own clinic with her husband at 35

A doctor who will try to save people as much as she can 

A doctor who will take a risk treating mental patient

A doctor who will run her own bussiness and have her own house on the hill. 

My dream may seem too much but I just cannot stand

letting it be just a daydreaming, I'm sicked of that!!

If I get a good result and get an offer to make foundation in science, 

I will just proceed my ambition through that way, 

but if my result is not good enough. 

It will bring me to a liitle longer journey,

but still to the way that bring me to my ambition. 

I will enter matrix and scoring 4.0 flat and trying hard to get high mark in each quiz,

when I get 4.0 flat, I will aiming for the scholarship, 

and if Allah will with bless from mama and ayah, 

soon I will be a doctor and married with a doctor too . 

Because that is your dream and that is my dream. 

a little words..

Career Talk

-->

Last year at this time (26/12/2011). I keep worrying about my SPM. I know that I will face a big battle and war. And so, I am exited to be 17 as I will finish my studies so soon and now the time passed , so does my next days. 

Now, I completely confuse with those question like ,

'What should I be?' 

'what I want to be?'

'how hard it will be?'

and

'would it be just like what I want it to be?'

The result not coming out yet but seriously I am hoping for the best.
I don't know how best/worst it would be but I sure Allah had planned something for me.

Last night, I am having a conversation with my parents & siblings about what should I take. 

Business Law or

Medic. 

Lawyer or 

Psychiatrist. 

Foundation in law 

or going to Egypt in Sept?

Seriously in dilemma. 

I list out all my advantages & disadvantages.

:o) I can speak with others very well 

;o) I can .............\

:o) I can .............\

;o) I can .............\
 heeehhe , I will update the list later.. '' ''xd

so what should I be ?

fingers note,

Do you ever feel angry when you see people are easily getting what you have wanted so badly, while you are working like hell, perfecting yourself, just to get it? You feel like the world is against you and you are fighting a battle you cannot win. You feel restless, unhappy. 

But you should know one thing. Our body is the form of energy, and in fact everything in this universe were made up in the form of energy. We use an energy to attract energy. Hence, we are actually attracting the universe towards us. If you think you are happy, the whole universe will work on to make you happy -- genuinely. If you think, you don't happy -- the whole universe will work on to make you unhappy, because that's where you exert your energy most. 

 there is something in you that I want, 

you simply get it but I have too little that I feel it does not enough.

If you don't mind,

can you share it with me?

a fingers note

Find Yourself & Be Yourself

I enter a bookshop. 

A rare bookshop for me. 

I'm not always came here but today I reach here again. 

I walked slowly and looked around  of the bookshop. 

Gotcha!!! I found what I looked for. 

I walked again. 

I go to the rack of novels. 

there are lots of new novels which I never heard the tittle before. 

I want to buy one or three but out of the blue moon [ biruu sangat lhaa bulan tu kan??]

I saw a book written by Dale Carnegie

HOW TO ENJOY YOUR LIFE 

Not thinking for any second I grab that book.

The first part of this book telling you about to be yourself 

because there is no one else on earth like you!!

what I get then is; 

If you can't be a pine on the top of hill, 

Be a scrub in the valley but be the best liitle scrub by the side of the hill. 

Be a bush if you can't be a tree,

If you can't be a bush, be a bit of grass, 

and some highway happier make ; 

if you can't be a muskie, then just be a bass

but the liveliest bass in the lake!

we can't all be captains cause we have got to be crew.

There is something for all of us here.

There is big work to do and there is lesser to do. 

And the task we must do is near.

If you can't be highway,then just be a trail,

It isn't size that you win or you fail

Be the best of whatever you are

to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring us peace and freedom from worry, remember let's not imitiate others. Let's find ourself and be ourself

a fingers note

Sunday's Memory :o))

Its start with bright day, 

totally hot and I am sweating because of the high temperature of Malacca, 

but that was not an excuse for me to enjoy my day which full with excitement and new experience.

I couldn't explain how happy I am 

I couldn't explain how thankful I am for the dudes awarded to me =)

we talk about so many things insteed of promoting Kem Benteng Negara

we talk about 'girls' thing that I never have any conversation about it with any of my friends before, 

ohh how can I forget that all of us growing up and so does our thinking and 

that will absolutely affect our topic of conversation. 

There are so many things I want to tell but I can't sort all of them here,

but picture will tell you everything that is hard for me to spill out or even to write it down here =)

#with my super something dudes > Amanina Hadi & Aisyah Dahiyah

95 full of great things even peoples may see it as ridiculous things, 

but that is the reason we're made for, 

to show the varieties and act as the completor to complete the uncomplete puzzles, 

the puzzle might not finish cause one of the pieces was taken by us

a finger note..

A little words :o)

I know that I am too much , 

I know that I should not live in grudge and anger, 

I know I should accept all the test given by HIM as everything happen as He had plan. 

 I know they were sicked with my behaviour, 

yeah selfishness, egoistic, hot temper, hard-head, heartless

even my family could not stand with it so why should my friends huh?

but I see things clearly now. 

Sorry to mama and ayah cause make you two face a great challenge in raising me

and I know that it was not easy at all. It should be me who talk 

nicely and respecting you guys more, but things going different when I still 

with my super duper silly-stand. Seriously I'm sorry

fingers note

Lo to the Ser

Never think that you are a loser,
cause this might lead you to hurting others.
Always believe that everyone have their own path and you should through it separately.
There is no such worst life in this world as there is someone out there
turn insane because of war, hatred, power and revenge.

Just take your path and I will take mine =)

#stop pointing your fingers
 

the more I seek to know, the more hurt I get 

Memory that left behind

He's one of the kiddo that I think have potential to be 'somebody'

and of course, he already prove it to everyone. 

You are double triple lucky to have him beside you even you know what will come after him.

You should be grateful when he choose you among those pretier one. 

He never complain about you but trying to understand you much more. 

But once he's stepping out from the school to a better place, 

you directly break all the bond created between both of you simply like abc.

that was his dream. that was his family hope

why you can't understand even babies can understand it?

I really glad that he is not stay beside you anymore. 

He deserve better girl

#Just Saying

Price for a Frienship

source : (expired picture)

relationship is something that we can determine widely, 

every relationship that build must be strengthen by love, trust, honest and sincerity. 

It can be any kind of relationship. 

For now I can't explain more about love'ship' because I'm not married yet 

because I am sure that married couple have their own opinion about relationship.

and I am not going to sold my friendship just because of a boy. 

My friendship is not that cheap

#As long as I can hold, yes I will 

PMR 2012 ;o))

TWO YEARS AGO... 

My heart beats going fasters, 

each second is countless, 

can't deferentiate between red and green, 

the only things that I did was recite quran, munajat to the Great Allah SWT

and now

my little brothers and sisters from smkda will face the same things, 

tomorrow is not the finale day in your life. 

pmr is quite important because it channeled you to your standard and level, 

but each channel have different oppurtinity and the scale in  job is different, 

that is why I said PMR is quite important, 

because the subject will not be the same to all students.

there is an elective subject which you must put much effort in it. 

what ever it is, I pray for all of you =) 

May Allah Have Mercy

Driving License :o)

two times experience with auto car, 

no experience with manual car. 

3 bored hours 

3 hours practical

I got prised by him : "untuk orang yang pertama kali bawa kereta, biasanya sangkut 

bila nak start kereta, looks like kaki kiri kau boleh diajar' 

.Alhamdulillah. 

everything goes well

May Allah Have Mercy

Mailyn Monroe

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

Be Yourself Does Not Easy ;(

its so hard for me to be myself,

its so hard for me to be the real me, 

because no one will accept me the real me. 

so, that was the factor that lead me to be fake!!

but being fake is just one of the character right??

being fake = real me

that was my weakness. 

today gone. tomorrow appear

I fix it to be better

I will make sure, after 3 month. 

I'm no one else but me myself. 

xoxo

A little words ;0

I scare if this might be the last?

I keep asking myself why I sleep eventhough I know he will departed so soon?

Hara ssi, can't you just put away your ego aside. 

Just For This Time. Can't you?

Promises XD - none

if you can't keep you promises, then don't promise me anything

because I'm hoping

You fooled me with your words and simply forget it?

that was a liitle bit harsh dear.

I always give you my word but you? Not even once 

someone will pay it back

xoxo

An Inbox Motivate =)

in finding the true me,

 in finding the inner spirit of me,

 in leading me to be a good caliph,

 i must admit that sometimes I lose,

 lose to the fear,

lose to the test,

 lose to the lust,

 I know Allah never close HIS eyes,

 I know HE know how my heart scattered to the ground,

 HE put much problems to test me

 to test my patience

to test my faith,

 I admit,

sometimes my faith shaking,

that is why I need some refreshment,

 that is why I need some words to motivate myself,

and thanks to Ebit Lew,

 without you,

I might not made it.