Kelabu ;)

Dalam hidup ni

kita selalu ada pilihan 

terpulang 

terserah 

pada kita yang nak memilih.

semuanya jelas. 

tapi persoalannya, 

macam mana dengan yang ada ditengah-tengah?

KELABU

apa yang jelas tentang kelabu?

macam mana nak jelaskan?

macam mana pula kehidupan 

antara yang gelap dan terang?

Ia samar-samar.

 

abu Azmina Sakri =)

I love the moments here, 

I wish I can pause the time and let it stay just like this. 

Chatting at inbox of 'mukabuku'

talking about the past boys in our life, 

and how adorable this world that make you attracted to it!!

I love this moment 

#supersomething

I love word SOMETIMES

sometimes i'm in love 

sometimes i'm crazy 

sometimes i'm lovely 

sometimes i'm ugly 

sometimes i'm beautiful 

sometimes everything going smooth 

sometimes everything goes wrong 

sometimes i'm tidy 

sometimes i'm messy

sometimes i'm okay 

sometimes i don't 

sometimes i'm real

sometimes i'm pretend 

=) its the way i found the real me in randomest things 

xxxx

Impersonate ?

hey sometimes i'm being cruel to myself,

for not be who i should be, 

i mean the real me.

suddenly I prefer pretended compare to show the real me.

until I forget who I was, 

until I forget who is me! 

I forget all about that. 

I want to tell all the truth about my life, 

but I scared my friends will hate me or misunderstood, 

Now I realise, it brings no different if I just be myself.

I regreted not doing that before. seriously . 

Happy xoxo ; )

The Conclusion.

The conclusion is,

Whatever happen to me or my relationship with others,

Still it was among the best memory that I ever had.

Tears. Sadness. Heartbreak.

Everything give something to me as a lesson.

Not only to myself but maybe for some peoples out there.

I might have no chance to ask for everyone forgiveness,

Maybe because my heart is not open yet,

I know it was not a good to do that,

But I cannot force myself as I cannot force others forgive me.

FORGIVE. FORGIVEN . FORGIVENESS

It were something that I care much.

Some may say the words ‘sorry’ simply like one..two..three..

But for me ‘sorry’ is the big words that brings

A big meaning that not everyone can understand.

From time to time, I try to heal my soul and hope

That no problems will appear while I heal it,

But I know and I must realize that problems never stop from coming up,

As we are human to be tested its strength and faith.

I do believe each bigger test will give me

bigger gift as the rewards.

Remember, whoever come in my life.

I will always love that person until I find the reason I should hate that person

With love , pray and memory >I love You Guys<

Making a Recall

Its like looking back at the past

Some say it wasting my time and

Some say its okay to recall what we have done and

From there, we plan our future.

Dear,

2012 is the last year for me to wear school uniform and having my own table and chair at class.

2012 is the last year for me to get homework everyday.

2012 is the last year for me to get command from my teachers, to do this and that.

2012 is the last year for me to be fetch by my parents

2012 is the last year for me to be with my beloved friend

2012 is the last year for me to snap picture with same peoples at same place

2012 is the last year I will study CHEMISTRY with sir Zabidi Malek

And the most important thing is

2012 is the first and the last year I’m taking SPM

2012 is the first and the last year I’m 17

Because once I get 18, things will be so different.

That was my list at the early of the year but I realize how much that fulfilled. That’s mean I failed to fulfill my own wish. Maybe I’m the one who not letting this wishes became real but I don’t know really.

Time Running Out

even while exam was in progress 

I can seek for a time where I can post so many entry on my blog, 

Now I have so much free time but I cannot 

all of them for post an entry a day.

Look, life is full with unexpected things. 

sometimes we gonna like it or sometimes we gonna hate it, 

but 'siapalah daku' to change the fate that determined by Allah,

HE is the power of all. 

May Allah not leave us 

Before It's Too Late

If you look up in the dictionary, the word cherish is defined as "to hold dear or to treat with tenderness 

and affection". 

There are so many things and people on this Earth that we should cherish.

Our family, friends or even the things we have by our side.

Most of us often take everything that is given to us for granted. 

We often think that whatever we have now will be a part of our lives forever.

We never learn to cherish something until we lose someone or something we dearly love. 

Family are the ones that are placed by our side by God.

We can't choose which family we want as family member.

We can't choose which family we want to be born into.

Sometimes we grumble that our family do not care about us.

However, the painful truth about their importance in our lives will only come when they are separated from us by death or other means. 

Hold them dearly now because there is no point regretting never loving them after losing them, forever. 

There are billions of people in this world.

To have friends is something of a bliss and requires the hand of fate. 

But sadly, not all of us realise this.

We often think that friends will stay by our side forever.

And because of this, we never really cherish their presence in our lives. 

Different friends are just like crayons of different colours. 

They colour our life beautifully and we cannot afford to lose any of them.

Their presence is what we ought to cherish. 

We often hear people say 'an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth'.

But is it really right for us to hate and hold grudges over those who hurt us?

It's true that they hurt us, but it is also true that through them we have learned a lot of important lesson.

Trough them, we learn that society, the world is not simple. 

Trough them, we learn to be bold. 

and thanks to them also, we learn to love. 

So, cherish the ones in your life today !!

May Allah Bless

A little Words

SEPAGI BERSAMA =) 

In the middle of struggling and hardwork, 

sometimes we (people) need rest and rest need us . 

After one night suffer by flu, 

now I'm right here with my family that I love everyday. 

Here is KEM BENTENG NEGARA, which located in Prt. Penghulu, Sg.Rambai, Melaka
they have cycling, kayaking and much more. 

kayaking and then fall into the water with algae touched my uncovered feet, 

It was one of amazing morning I ever had. 

try once and I guarantee you gonna loved it! 

I'm not scared, 

it just because I still have a little respect to you,

that is why I keep my mouth shut.

I'm not a coward,

it just because I still see you as my friend, 

that is why I do not want interfere. 

After what had happen to us, 

can I request something?

stop the fake you showed to me

doodles =)

a little bit change

like the wind 

people also changed

but it depends how someone describe it,

it may be hurt inside you,

but just believe that everything happen for a reason.

today they changed, 

tomorrow we changed , 

another tomorrow? who will guarantee 

so, stay calm even you feel like want to vanish them in your mind, 

because one day you will always thanks to them. why?

because of them, 

you are what you are !! 

The Reflection

There's this girl in the mirror,

I wonder who she is.

Sometimes I think I know her

and sometimes I wish I did 

There is  a story in her eyes,

lullabies and goodbye.

when she's looking back at me,

I can tell she's hurting inside.

She smiles with all that she has left,

yet tears are left un-dried 

and though  she's got so much to say,

she's bottles it up inside.

If you look past her broken eyes

to a shadow no one sees,

a disguise so you won't recognise,

that the girl might be really me. 

Again NST

Alhamdulillah

when something bad happen to you,

make you breathless, restless and useless,

believe me, 

Allah want to grant you a better moment full of sweetness!
just go with flow dude !!

just do your best, let Allah do the rest

=) 

Fight dude !!

the future is secret

but the key is with us 

you define your own life. 

so why should scared?

when you completely know,

what you want.

p/s : yes people change, so does our future 

Obsession

because this is obsession,

we never get tired,

we never feel bored,

we never think to stop, 

we never know when it will end 

because this is obsession.

don't look down for your friend's dream, 

don't you underestimate them,

don't compare their life with yours,

it will never be same,

like time that given everyday,

we use it in different way,

even our breath change each time!

p/s:don't compare mine with yours 

#Letter 1

How funny when A mad B for B's mistake to D ,

but in the same time A make the same mistake to C and refuse advise from B. 

People commit mistake 

but hard to commit. 

Ego 

I wish one day you could relise that forgiving is not easy to give

when the hurt is deep inside. 

I wish one day you could understand that accepting does not easy 

I wish one day you found your own happiness without snatch is from others, 

I wish one day you could find the love that you lost. 

Today you think you're loser and tomorrow you're desperate'er

A letter for You

Note-To-You#5

Acceptance

but the only thing we can do is 

ACCEPT 

Impression

Trust me I am not good 

at everything.

I have my own weakness.

That's why.

Everything you see about me

ain't always what it seems.

Don't read me wrong.

Don't judge me

by the impressions I have made.

better late than never

Every cloud has silver lining and now I'm praying for gold 

maybe its hard for crawling but its better than never.

I know what I do when I'm walking alone through the journey. 

You might feel the same way one day.

It just today is my turn. 

I wish you the best even you will return it double to me =)

I know where's my place 

its higher than you and I promise you will see it one day!

I will prove it . InsyaAllah . Allah with me. Nothing impossible 

Approval

I scared

there is no time left for me,

I must quick and grab this chance,

I cannot wait for others anymore ,

because this is about my future

I may be late , 

but at least I want to try !!

 I would be please if anyone wanna help me, 

but I know that's not easy to bring me back to basic again. 

but I really appreciate the willingness of a teacher,

who I will never forget!! 

thank you, I will try 

I go ask him alone 

I overcome my fear for my future, 

I overcome my tears and step forward, 

I talk to him and I realise 

'the crazy idea is not really crazy after we done it'

I hope he can focus on me, 

if you want too, 

go and ask him face to face and don't ask me to be intermediary. 

we fight together friends =)

p/s : Nothing Left Except You and Your Future

a trial

Trial SPM

bye 

I Just Know

I'm really sorry, 

thinking that you have no right to feel bad about what I write here.

I'm really sorry because being too selfish, 

I'm really sorry because give you hurt more and more, 

I'm really sorry for the bad thinking of me. 

I love the moment when you tell the story about you. 

you tell the story about your friends who might be me =) 

I know everything was changed, 

but can't we pretended like there is nothing happen, sometimes... 

anyway, imy too 

Witches

If I have a magic 

just one thing I want to do. 

'stop, where we all together laughing with no fear'

randomly 

Normality

changes is normal,

but accepting the changes is harder

The words and whispers

when such a bad thing happen in our life 

we keep sighing without knowing the reason.

You're not wrong if you feel that because as a normal

person who follow the human nature it's a 

normal if people spread out their feelings 

trough that way

but there is different between sigh and patient .

some say that 'hump' is a sigh 

but I just don't think so 

It's so complicate to explain but I sure 

everyone will go trough it one day . 

I read an article last day 

about our time .

time that we spend to think about our life 

she said that 

stop for a while and think about our live 

. what we have done ?.

. what we want achieve in our life ? .

. what are study for ? .

. what is my eternal dream ? . 

Too much question , which we not answer yet 

when we want to answer ?

we also do not know .

Some say changes is a scared things 

Some say changes is wonderful things

but actually , it depend on people who faced it 

maybe it a scared thing for someone , but it is wonderful thing for the other ?

so how can we describe it accurately ?

It such an abstract things that we need to treasure .

First , I'm hard in accept advice 

because I know that I'm just saying the truth
but when I go a step back , I realise something that 

I'll never tell people that I'm saying wrong .

So the main point here is we will never realise we're wrong 

because we're someone who do it .

b'cause of that people around us play their important role .

advise

I don't know when I start thinking seriously in my life 

about something .

It comes from my soul . 

I take a step back and I realise that there are so much things

that I do against the things that I should .

and now I realise what my mom said is all true and 

I'm not deny it but I admit it ,

It such a big confession.

I've a big relieve right now .

but I just have one request .

a REQUEST where hard fro some people to fulfill it .

it's UNDERSTANDING ,

I beg people for understand me a little bit ,

just like I'm trying to understand people.

Maybe it's being too late since I growing up , 

but experience make me mature .

hyphothesis : The bitter the experience , the mature you are .

MAY ALLAH BLESS ME

Pak Cik Shidi

nice house and nice kitchen 

thank you for the food

I ate too much 

'ayammas' so gooood

from : skudai 

Some may say NO Some may say IMPOSSIBLE Some may say MAYBE Some may say DON'T KNOWSome may say UP TO YOU 
and it all seem like no one knowour heart needed we just go trough our life smiling all over the time and lie everyone to make our life simple and better but the REAL STORY is between ourselves and ALLAHmay Allah bless (=

The Words

People will never know what we feel 

People will never understand what actually in our mind 

People can't ensure out future will be good 

People can't make we alive when we actually die 

So don't worry if people not besides you because ALLAH will be there 

A dream and hope

In my heart I draw a dream 

which I name it HOPE 

when I decide the direction and the purpose 

so it means that I'm ready to 

take the challenge 

The way to the top is winding 

make me difficult to climb 

but still I brave this fragile heart 

I thought HOPE is smooth as DREAM 

which play in human sleep 

if life not like that 

then , my heart shaken by the fact 

I also do not have to state 

my weakness 

when I tested last forced 

and I gather all my strength again 

based on faith 

This Is My Life

we're the director 

i direct my story with my own way 

Versus

'It hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does'

fight with it, 

show the power of your brain 

because your brain control all the activities 

but your heart control your feeling :')

Rb.lated

unintentionally heard, it hurts inside me 

thank you 

Voldermort

I may forgive you because I have no right to give punishment to you. 

Allah will do that 

but I will never forget what have you done 

Note #30

It was just a part of learning, 

I mean in

I learn that boys are not the only way to make girls happy

learn that there are too much things that can make me happy
learn that I have bigger responsible to hold that thinking about this
I have my part and I had learn 

Love is ... what?

Menurutku, cinta ibarat sebuah buku. Setiap helaian, menceritakan kisah yang baru, menyempurnakan sebuah cerita secara keseluruhannya. Ibarat serpihan serpihan memori kita. Tentang hari yang terbaik dan hari yang terburuk. Namun, kita tetap menerima sebuah buku itu sebagai satu cerita. Dan begitulah cinta, engkau tidak akan bahagia hanya dengan rasa suka. Tapi apabila engkau menerima setiap hari terbaik dan terburuknya. 

Thanks NST !!

August 23/ 2012

little award

I know You Before

I don't know when or where I meet you.

I also don't know how or what made me feel easy with you. 

Today you are different in shape 

Today you are different in characters 

Today you are not like yesterdays 

but I love your yesterday's version 

and

Today, I don't know you anymore 

Note-To-You#5

maybe we are not close any more 

but I always here for you.

Almost at the end =)

It almost at the end 

and more problems popping up at the last second 

maybe we need rest 

maybe we need confession

maybe we need a conversation !!

but 

time . ego . feelings . words

forbid it 

times running out and I'm standing here with problems,

the last answer is :: everyone has problems ::

end the termination with flying colour result? pray for me 

May Allah Bless 

What isn't be said

Its may be hard 

Hard to admit

Hard to say that's true 

.True.

True of the lie

True that I can't admit 

True that I'm being too weak 

True that I'm being rude to my own soul

True that I'm afraid of those fear 

True that I'm hard to forgive 

True that I'm hard to ask for forgiveness 

True that I'm being too sensitive on the simple things

True that I'm being immature 

True that I'm being un-nature 

True that I'm keeping loneliness 

True that I'm trying to move on my life 

True that I'm trying build new relationship with everyone

True that I put more efforts

but the secret lies behind those words is 

I need to hide those feeling, 

can't revealed even towards those who I love.

Making non fairytale story 

I try 

try to face this world as I should 

learn from the argue 

take the simple advises 

and give more love.

but it is not easy just like saying it,

It something that we express truly from our heart 

xloxlo

I'm Telling You

I just want to be your friend not your special one 

xvole

Stimes

Gracias SCHOOL TIMES 

anxious waiting for tomorrow 

I didn't ask you to give what I want 

I ask you to just Understand 

p/s :: I don't know that hard to you 

Because This Is 1st Time

I heard that you're great

 I heard that you're one type just like me 

I know you care about your friendship pretty much 

I know friendship disaster your life 

through your blog 

through your status 

I know you're same like me

I don't know how to treat people and how to approach as well, 

because I never asking for a boy to be my friend, 

so, sorry for the wrong sentences that I used because 

I just don't know how to treat people

Let's Be Friend

Arrangement of Alphabets

Hey ! 

E . N . J . O . Y

your days . Each moment . 

Me ? say anything - NOPE 

[ you think that I'm not ]

F . U . N . N . Y

you ? understand .. ^ urmm - bolehlah 

Me ? pretend - YES 

[ say me ] 

W . E . A . K 

your weakness is there 

me ? has more than you - AGREE 

[ we say ]

T . H . I . N . K 

you & me 

blunders ? - ABSOLUTELY 

hiding ? - YUP 

selfish ? - COMPLETELY 

[ say their ] 

T . H . A . N . K

what have you done ?

me ? owh  - NOTHING 

touched ? for what - WEIRD 

hehehehheheheheh 

SMILE till u DIE ^^

who write it ? who make it ? who start it ? who finish it ? who full with revenge ? who mock it ?
who hate it ? who feel jerk with it ? who say it ? who told it ? who express it ?

me . you . them . their . we 

why all 5 of you so stubborn huh ? 

reblog::Kindness

Nobody has it easy; everybody has problems.

Even those you see on television, or those you hear on the radio.

You don't know what their life is really like,

or what they have to go through.

Nobody is perfect, nobody deserves to be perfect.

So before you start judging, criticizing or mocking.

Remember that everybody is fighting their own war,

so please be kind.

p/s::reblog from source 

it was exactly what I feel, it just I don't know how to express it in proper words

Secret Of A Lover

Unconditional love is when you give without hoping for any returns

trial spm >mood on< straight A's >InsyaAllah

reblog::untitled

It's true, what my instinct told me before.

I am just tired of it

because people will always leave me behind.

And now I am afraid to believe in my instinct.

I will just want to be like the rope, to hold on and hold on.

p/s::reblog from source

it was exactly what I feel, it just I don't know how to express it in proper words

Reblog::The Past

The past taught me how to dream.

The past taught me how to trust myself.

Because the past made who I am today.

If only the past knew this.

p/s::reblog from source 

it was exactly what I feel, it just I don't know how to express it in proper words

sometimes you have to smile, 

pretend everything's okay, 

hold back the tears and 

just walk away 

Reblog:FearFactor

Throughout my life, I have always been afraid of losing the people I love.

But then sometimes I wonder if there is anyone out there afraid of losing me.

I'm someone who cares so much about the people around me,

but I am not sure if they feel the same way.

I wonder if I have ever made a big impact on someone's life

p/s::reblog from source

it was exactly what I feel, it just I don't know how to express it in proper words

Heart BreaK

Once upon a time, I was looking outside the window in deep thought, "I'm so happy it's ridiculous. I wish I knew how heartbreak feels like" Now, wishing that is ridiculous. Looking back at my self five years ago, I wanted to step back into the past and slap her face and tell her to not wish stupid things. 

Because heart break is the lousiest feeling in the world. You are pathetic one way or another. You keep telling yourself you can cope, and it sounds pathetic. You cry yourself to sleep, and that's pathetic too. You eat chocolate and write in your blog that chocolate is better than a relationship, and that's one rubbish that is pathetic in every sense 

But now, I  don't think all of that is important anymore. I think the waiting game, the meeting a lot of strange characters, the pain and suffering that comes with heartbreak is just stepping stone towards something even more

little from Valentina Nervosa

We have same story line, the differ is just you have better place than me. You should glad about that/!

You're arrogant, arrogant and arrogant but you arrogant with peoples you don't know and you don't want to know. I think my name was in 'you don't want to know' am I right? 

No matter what, I wish you happy day. Salam 

p/s:: I've Mix Feeling Right Now 

Assalammualaikum, 

Happy Eid Ul-Fitr People

forgive all my wrongdoings for yesterday, today and future 

Ido

LFT&RFT

Do you ever do something out of sudden bravery that flew to your entire body? Your adrenaline tells, that you got this only to find out a little later how much you will regretting it? 

But there is nothing we can say for certain. Perhaps, when we are older, we will get wiser and all of these things started to make sense. 

Approaching

Assalammualaikum

Finally, dah masuk ramadhan yang ke-22,

ada yang dah mula penuhkan balang kuih, 

ada yang sibuk menjahit langsir

ada yang tengah buat renovation 

dan ada juga yang tak de buat apa2 sebab dia tak raya .. hahaha [ no function]

Raya dalam term 2012 untuk aku agak berbeda; 

naik cuti raya terus trial spm - Gempak startz kan !!! 

tapi tahun ni mama & kakak aku nak raya sakan, 

tahun ni 

langsir tukar, 

perabot adjust

pembuangan stock besar besaran 

pengosongan ruang habis habisan 

kuih berbalang balang 

meja buffet dah pasang

tinggal one step je lagi

Aku harap takdelah aku 'sakan' sangat raya nanti 

anyway teruskan berpuasa walaupun yang menulis ni pun tak cukup. 

and 

start count down HARI RAYA + TRIAL SPM 2012 

May Allah Bless