Should I write poems or stories? I wonder, and because I haven't decided it yet, I cannot move on. I didn't start to write either poems or stories. And I guess that how we have been living our life. We questions why we stuck at a place we are uncomfortable to be with. We see a clear vision of our goals but we cannot just make a step towards it, and why it is so? 

Perhaps, we are hesitating. Perhaps, we haven't decided what should we focus in. And that's exactly why we are stuck like a nail onto the wall. We feels the odd of being alone in such a big wall. Hmmp, hhaha, I actually contemplating to use hmmmp or humph to show the sign of a sigh. If I cannot make a small decision like that, how can I handle big one? I hate myself for that. For thinking too much, for being too scared of trying. What's the worst thing can happen if I just try it out? 

We are not deciding, contemplating and hesitating and yet we want our independence for our heart is longing for a freedom. But nothing can be done, if we stuck. So, I found out that we actually need to free ourselves first, form our own mind. Saying it is a piece of cake, doing it is another level of courage and bravery. Where can I buy it from? The bad news is -- we can't buy them anywhere. 

The good news is, we know now that we are stuck. What we can do now, is to find the reason. Family, friends -- these two won't be away from our list(s) of reason(s). They are, to be truth the hardest reason that we want to admit for having. However, we stuck again, for we don't know which part of them that hold onto us. 

Takut

Takut.
Takut apa orang kata.
Takut apa orang fikir.
Takut dengan segala imaginasi,
yang hanya bermain dalam kepala.

Lantak.
Lantaklah apa orang nak kata.
Lantaklah apa orang nak fikir.
Sakit perit kita bukan dia yang rasa.

At least,
Itu yang aku cuba rasionalkan.
Supaya hati terpujuk.

But no --
I do care.

Dan jujurnya masih fikir.
How unjust can world be to me.
How can the whole globe go against me?

But no --
Aku yang against dunia.
Bukan dunia yang against aku.

Bila aku terlalu melihat pada
apa yang aku tiada berbanding ada.
Bila aku terlalu mahu pada
apa yang aku tak perlu.

Maka mulalah.
Serabut dalam jiwa.
Triggered.
Yang lama2, makan diri sebenarnya.

Promosi Glister

Bismillah

Assalammualaikum and hi earthlings, okay, today nak share fasal ubat gigi glister ni. Since kecil aku memang pakai brand X with no reason at all. Mungkin sebab lahir2 je, mak ayah memang dah pakai brand X, balik kampung pun, atok nenek pakai brand X juga. To the extent yang aku tak pernah persoalkan pun, kenapa eh kita guna brand X. Pernah tak anda pun rasa benda yang saya? Setiap bulan, kita pergi kedai, for the sake of nak beli ubat gigi, yang secara automatik kita dah register dalam kepala kita untuk beli tanpa, syarikat tu bersusah payah nak paksa kita beli brand dia. 

Tapi, itu sebab kita tak ada pilihan lain. Kita membesar dengan itu, but now when we have another option, the question is, are we brave enough for the change? 

Aku pakai glister ni, pertama kali masa masuk degree. Beli dengan makcik aku, dengan harga RM27+ if I am not mistaken. The bad news is, habislah duit aku RM27 semata untuk ubat gigi je kan. Siapalah yang gila sangat spend sampai RM30 untuk ubat gigi. Tapi, the good news is, aku guna satu tube ubat gigi tu for one whole year. Dua semester aku pakai ubat gigi dari tube yang sama. Ha, jangan kata aku tak gosok gigi eh, aku tembak kang. Hhaha. It's true. Aku pun impress sangat. Jimat gila, sebab texture dia pekat dan hanya pakai sikit sahaja macam biji saga. Tak payah macam over nak pakai sari hujung berus ke hujung berus macam dalam iklan TV tu. 

Tapi disebabkan aku dengan makcik aku jauh, bila dah habis, aku end up beli je la brand X dekat pasar raya macam biasa. But to be honest, I don't feel the different, sebab waktu tu memang gigi aku tengah sihat kan. Aku pakai yang pemutih tu, yang ada arang. Dua tiga tahun ni kan, brand X banyak betuk keluarkan ubat gigi baru. Bermacam jenis ada, dan setiap bulan juga aku tukar yang lainnya. Lama2 aku perasan, gigi aku dah cepat ngilu. Aku tak boleh nak siat tebu guna gigi macam aku selalu buat dulu. Dan setiap kali aku gosok gigi, gigi aku akan berdarah. 

Rejection is beautiful: yes darling!

Rejection is beautiful. 

From it you learn patience.

Towards it you learn courage. 

And in the process, it hurts. 

It hurts because we don't understand. 

We thought we could be un-rejected.

Even when the verdict is crystal clear.

So we keep being, whoever we don't want to be.

Untitled

Aku pinjam keyakinan para mentor, aku genggam erat segala mimpi dan impian. Jangan lepaskan. "Never let people take your pen and overwrite your story". Sentiasa pegang tu dalam kepala. When they know not the whole story, ramai yang mengatakan aku "gila" atau mungkin taksub dengan apa yang aku lakukan sekarang. Berhenti kerja for the sake of running a business, yang kata orang "tak nampak mana arah tujunya". Nope, you just not see it yet. 

Tak kurang yang mempersoalkan "kenapa kau berhenti kerja? kau dah la best student. then, kau buat apa sekarang?" Knowing me, aku jenis yang plan ahead. Aku jenis picture my life not only ten years ahead but 50 years ahead. People know me as a thinker, a planner -- I don't really jump into something without proper & deep thought. Lagipun, aku masih muda, dan aku tak akan memperjudikan masa muda aku untuk perkara yang sia-sia. 

Dan aku nampak itu dalam Amway. Itu yang Amway tawarkan kepada aku. Healthy lifestyle (financial freedom + time freedom). And why am I not giving myself a chance to work real hard for these two to three year, in order for me to enjoy a fruitful results after? No. Ini bukan skim cepat kaya. Sebab tu aku percaya pada Amway. Sebab dia bukan perniagaan yang kau kena labur ribu2, esok kutip wang kau dua tiga kali ganda. Tidak, Amway bukan business sampah seperti itu. 

I believe in working hard, dan itu apa yang Amway ajar. Kau nak apa-apa pun, kau kena work hard. Kau kena ada usaha. Mana2 perniagaan pun, nak mula memang ada modal. Bezanya, modal permulaan Amway sangatlah murah jika dibandinglkan kita nak melabur modal untuk buat R&D product, packaging, open store dan sebagainya. Dengan hanya RM90, kita menjadi partner kepada Amway yang telah pun berusia enam puluh tahun!! Kalau Amway tiada strong foundation, they cannot stay this long, sebab tu aku percaya pada Amway. 

Dengan sembilan puluh ringgit itu juga, kita dah ada stores hampir 80 buah negara. Pergi shopping di kedai Amway, ibarat shopping di kedai sendiri. Every cents you spend will eventually goes back to your account and the best thing about Amway is that, ia sangatlah meaningful untuk dibuat bersama-sama. We build the business together. Jadikan ini business keluarga. Jadikan ini business bersama dengan rakan baik kita. 

Sempena fisikal year 2020 yang baru bermula, aku memasang impian dan harapan yang besar untuk fight 'goal' kita next year to #gosydney2020 

Peliknya manusia, kita sentiasa berdoa kepada Allah supaya dimurahkan rezeki, supaya diberikan rezeki yang tak putus2, supaya dikurniakan rezeki yang tak disangka-sangka, tapi bila Allah dah datangkan cara, kita pula yang memilih. "eh tak nak yang ni Ya Allah. tak nak" 

Jadi, say "YES" to the offer, even when you don't know you can do it or not. Bagi peluang dekat diri sendiri to receive what you deserve. 

InshaAllah, of hard works and prayers, semuanya akan terbalas. 

ofconfusionandsabr

Bismillah.

Belajar untuk sabar.
When there is no response.
When there is no answer.
When you literally had no idea
of what is happening on the other side of the world.

Learn not to be upset.
Learn not to feel disappointed.
Learn not to discourage.
Learn not to --

At least that's what I wanna tell myself.
For that is how I want to feel comforted.

Because it was so hard here.
It was so hard to even breath.
It was so hard to wake up on another day,
and knowing that there is no such progress
that you are doing.

At least that is how I tried to persuade myself.

So let us start with something very common to happen in life. How to handle rejection, letting go and moving on. And this is not applied to such romantic feelings only, because it happens in most of relationship -- between friends, siblings, family, career and every single thing that happenning in our life. How to purely letting go of it?

We are human 

Ofhabitsandhobby

Bismillah. I have loved writing since I was a kid. Banyak kali dah aku repeat this statement. Tak tahu kenapa macam perlu sangat buat desclaimer yang bukan sekarang je yang aku suka menulis. Menulis, membaca dan bercakap bergerak seiring dalam kes aku. Sebab tu, panjang tulisan aku macam panjangnya bebelan aku. Those who knows me can relate well kot.

moh le tengok muka happy den recovering from breakout

Dulu aku gunakan medium seperti blogger dan facebook je. Aku ada instagram, twitter dan tumblr pun masa dah masuk college. Still actively writing about life or most of the time about random feelings after watching dramas and movies. But after a while, aku macam a little bit slow in writing. Sebab rasa macam, who's gonna listen? Even if aku try regularly update blog, tapi aku masih struggle to the point yang aku betul2 rasa kena perah my brain for an idea. Kalau tak, dulu idea flow macam air terjun je.

Vocab jangan cakaplah. Boleh rasa vocab tu tak berkembang sebab sekadar baca tapi tak guna. So tak lekat. That's why sekarang ni aku cuba mula semula. I am getting that part of my old self back. Yang jenis jujur dalam penulisannya. Dan aku mula berfikir, yang aku ni sebenarnya menulis untuk diri sendiri. Untuk setiap rasa yang tak mampu diluah dengan kata. Aku convert jadi perkataan. Moga dengan wording, aku tetap dapat rasa seperti aku menyampaikan ia.

And I was so fall in love dengan poems. Dulu selalu sangat hantar poems dekat NST. Untuk setiap poem, dia bagi RM20. Banyak juga aku hantar. Rajin. Poems aku biasa buat in english. BM pun ada juga. Tapi sejak slot school times dah tak ada. Aku dah tak hantarlah. Hmm.

Tapi alhamdulillah, sekarang aku nak mula
semula. Doakan aku istiqamah ya. Sebab menulis ni is like terapi bagi aku. Dan moga nukilan ini mampu membantu aku, andai kata satu hari nanti, aku lupa tentang semua rasa yang pernah mendiami hati aku. Dan moga esok2, aku tengok kembali pada hari ini, takut2 aku lupa pada impian yang aku pernah aku tanam dan percaya. Sempena raya korban ini, aku ikhlaskan segalanya dan aku akan belajar untuk mensyukuri setiap sesuatu ❤ 

of many people I cross path to

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

I know his name. A brief of his story and the whole mysterious stories is still unknown to me. He is quite a big name in business that I currently grow. I am pretty sure that he doesn't know me. Too many people follows him already and he won't recognize me at all. I know that fact. 

Knowing that fact, it is so weird that we suddenly had each other's number and he didn't alert me when he came to my house to meet my parents to propose me. 

However, my parents reject the proposal. He was turned down but we had mutual feeling. My mom told me that I am not allowed to marry him. Knowing that, I feel sad, but I din't contact him at all. 

The next day, when we met each other on the event, our eyes met but we both pretend like nothing happened. I suddenly received a notification, he whatsapp me. 

He was being sulky because I didn't comfort him after the rejection (how am I supposed to, we barely talk to each other). Then I tell him what I truly feels and he suddenly said "I'll wait for you". 

And I ask "promise?", "promise" he said. 

I don't know it can be so comforting knowing that whatever happened, there is always someone who keep waiting for you. Someone you can rely on, someone you can build a family with. 

~~ alarm clock ringing ~~

I woke up how can a dream feels so real when in reality it is surreal?

I do know that man in real life. but just as my dream, he doesn't know me because he is a big name in a business I just started to build. We met few times but he never recognize me, and we don't have that kind of feelings. Nope, I don't have that romantic feelings towards him. I adore him as a sifu in the business, nothing more. I will definitely look at him with different way after this -- erghhh. I hate my heart for moment like this. It's funny but terrifying.

"Ya Allah, genggam rinduku saat aku terlalu merindukan kehadiran dia. 

Ya Allah, sabarkan aku tatkala aku terlalu menginginkan dia. 

Ya Allah, tenangkan aku saat aku tak mengerti cerita yang kau tuliskan untuk aku dan dia"

"O Allah, your humble servant beg for your guidance" 

Sunday Class

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

For an introduction, I would like to inform all of you that we have been organizing two hours class to share some knowledge about products and business stuff, so you are being mentored by those who have succeed in this business. I firstly join, not because of the business, but because I need an escape where it can brings and give me positive energy, and thankfully, I found it here. 

Class will be on every Sunday (9.30am - 11.30am), suitable for all age range. Many comes with families. This class was divided into three to four section. 

1. Nutrilite (Vitamins & Supplements) - 30 mins 

2. Cooking/Demo - 60 mins

3. Sharing - 15 mins

4. Marketing Plan - 15 mins

I will surely share the contents in each section later on.

This class is open to all, the more you invite to spread the news is the better. Two hours for earn some knowledge will never hurt you and will always return back to your favor. I know many want to stay and spend their Sunday at home, but believe me that it worth your two hours. 

I firstly join in January 2019. I have been so consistent attending the class without failed. The only reason why I go, is because I need to know what is inside the food I am eating. I learned that nowadays, due to the need, we could no longer avoids eating "poisoning food". Fast food, food coloring, we are taking it at high percentage. However, there is solution to counter the result caused by this behavior. We will learn more and share more.

N E X T  T O G E T H E R

Resetting life goals.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

New resolution biasanya dibuat pada awal tahun, itu yang bersepah penuh feed instagram, twitter, facebook dan pelbagai platform media sosial dengan post yang menyampaikan message new resolution mereka. Tapi, new resolution atau azam ni, tak semestinya nak kena buat time tahun baru ja. Sebab manusia ni, ada naik turun dia. We always had a change of heart. Sebab tu penting, untuk kita selalu reset balik goals and objective hidup kita. Tara mana kita nak pi, jauh mana lagi kita tinggal dan apa langkah-langkah kita untuk hadapi semua cabaran to make sure kita sampai ke destinasi yang kita dok aim dari dulu. 

Seperti kebanyakan orang lain, aku macam tu juga. Turun naik. Semua tahu aku dok buat satu business ni, tapi aku sendiri tahu, aku tak bagi commitment pun pada business aku ni. Buatlah perniagaan apa pun, kalau kita tak consistent, memang tak akan jadi. Cut it short, Amway dah perkenalkan new marketing plan untuk new fiscal year. Lebih banyak ganjaran untuk yang berusaha keras. Lebih banyak peluang yang dibuka kepada lebih ramai orang. Tinggal kita ni nak ke tak je. 

Jadi, aku dah tekad nak komited dalam 18 bulan kedepan ni. Jadi semua yang membaca post ni, harap dapat doa sama kat aku. Kasi kita semua berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Aku ni memang minat menulis dari dulu, tapi kerana lama sangat dah tinggal, aku sampai rasa kekok nak karang ayat panjang panjang. Tapi, kalau dok bercakap tu, ha hang bagilah kat aku -- mesti juara!! Hhaha

So, blog ni, aku akan gunakan sebagai satu platform juga untuk tulis article berkenaan product product Amway yang aku pakai dan aku share dengan semua orang, supaya semua dapat benefit yang sama. Sebab kadang kita tak tahu, mungkin perkongsian kita tentang satu-satu product tu dapat membantu orang lain yang memang tengah mencari solusi kepada masalah dia. 

Contohnya, kawan baik aku sendiri, mengalami masalah ezema, yang mana hujung jari dia sampai hilang licin thumbprint. Nak buat urusan apa pun susah. Nak salahkan siapa kalau dah jadi macam tu? Tak ada salah sapa pun. Allah nak uji kita, nak hapus dosa kita, memang dengan sakit. Tapi kita pun, jangan pi depan muka dia, kata "Ha, Allah nak uji hang tu. Banyak sangat dosa". Kepala hang! Dosa pahala orang bukan kita yang atur. Dan sentiasa ingat, kadang Allah nak uji kita, bukan dia. Allah nak uji, how we behave towards orang yang tengah susah. Kita tolong ke, atau kita buat saja. 

Cut it short, aku bermula dengan bismillah. Ambillah mana yang elok. Tegur mana yang tak. InshaAllah aku berlapang dada dengan semua teguran untuk self betterment. Semoga kita berjaya sama-sama.

#nexttogether

p/s: Originally, we work not for money, but for family. We thought the more we earned, the higher our purchasing power. We could treat our family for a trip. Spend some time bawa mereka keluar jalan. But surprisingly, we all find that there is no enough time to spend leisurely with family. Jadi kita sebenarnya (at least me) memang dah lari dari objektif hidup aku yang sebenarnya. 

p/s 2: Mungkin sudah masanya untuk kita betul-betul sit down and think about our future. Do we want to do whatever we are doing right now for the next ten and twenty years? 

Good deeds never dies

I don't really know 

what's the right thing to do. 

I sincerely do not know.

Of lies we tell

Lies are not addictive

The reason why people tell lies after lies,

is because they missed the right timing

to tell the truth.

Lies are not addictive.

The rule is, you need to cover a lies

with another lies.

or else, everything you want to keep hidden

will be hidden.

Therefore, don't get too offended

when someone lies to you.

Believe me, they are not in peace, 

and that's enough for you.

Untitled

Tomorrow is a surprised.

That's how it supposed to be.

But that's not how it exactly happening.

Because tomorrow is no longer a surprise.

At least for me.

Because everything is predictable.

This routine is killing me.

This unproductive, killing, is killing me. 

I was dying.

I was screaming.

But silence is everything that I hear.

Of falling in love and awakening

What if we fall in love?

What happen when our hearts is no longer ours?

What is the reaction changes on our body?

How our mind slowly shifted and shaped differently?

How is it possible for all these changes happening

without we realise it?

p/s: does it make sense to you?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ 

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious, the most Merciful

A lot of thing happening since I last wrote anything in here. I am not busy with life. Why I say that? because I am pretty certain that I got time for movierathon. I had time spent hanging out with friends. However, I need to admit that I spend very little time to talk to myself like I regularly do. I had no time -- no. I do not ask myself if I am okay, or if there is something that is hard for me to say. I forget to ask myself that. 

Because I am like this. I don't even know when I am sad. 

I don't even know when I am angry, so I need to take another measures to ensure that my feelings are well taken care of.

I am bleed. 

Is it easy to find a soulmate?

Guysss!! Before I start, let me share a sad story with you. I have write the whole page of this entry and I accidentally deleted it all, and now, I could not even retrieve the entry I have written. Now I need to write it again T.T
Done #curahan

So let's write it again okay.

Soulmate. How do you recognize a soulmate? If you ask me that, I won't be able to recognize one. Not yet. But if you ask me how can I turn down men without giving them chances, my answer will be "I study myself. I embrace my weakness and cherish my strength. The more I got to know myself, the more I know, how kind of person my partner will be" and this idea of mine has always encourage me to work on self betterment for the sake of brighter future I may share with this man whose existence is not yet known in the world.

Call me old school, because I am so traditional like this 🌹
(My friends call me old soul for reason)

A soulmate, is someone I would like to make a family. I always believe, a marriage is not only a unite of two hearts but two family. I would love to care for his parents just like I care mine. And I wanted him to accept mine as his half too. I want to be a partner who provide support and I need partner who willing to do the same. Who willing to lend his wings, so I could fly high. Who hands are so warm that I won't forget my ground, and the most important thing, the one who always believe in me and want to grow together with me.

A soulmate, is someone who won't find us shameful when people thought of us as a weirdo. The one who accept the unique side of our darker world and willing to share his. A man who not correct me to follow his way, but a man who makes me feels like his way is the right one that I will follow wholeheartedly.

"You are too picky", "You don't deserve to be choosy, just accept anyone's who comes in your way" people told me these sort of things. I may be way too ugly, fat , dark and weird (even family couldn't handle my blunt, my laugh) I am so annoying -- for them, and they say, and I know it, but I love it. Haha. But a narcissist like me, I will claim that I am on the other level, that not many man could achieve. I am too rare, exotic kind. (Let me guys...let me haha)

Hello! Don't fat women deserve to be choosy? Everyone have right to choose who they wanted to spend their lifetime with. Because we are not talking about three years commitment. We are talking about possibility of 30 years and more of living together with the same person you will wake up next to, every single morning!! And ask yourself, again and again, are you willing to see me in my worst condition physical appearance and emotional state?

I am 24 years old this year, and I never been in any relationship. I have waited this long, and I wouldn't mind to wait a little bit longer. "You won't find one like that". Allah has promised. That He makes us in pair and He will grant us our prayer, if we ask. And I decide to have faith and believe in that.

I want a man who certain. Who not sway of others' opinion, who not waver on others' decision. Why? Because he's going to be a leader. And I do not want to be an assistant of someone who do not know what he's doing with his life. And most importantly, it is crucial to have a man who approach us with intention to marry us, and if we are really not destined to be together, only then we could say "that you came in my life either as a bless or a lesson". If you keep changing your partner in three/six months, these phrase won't really fit. No, it cannot fit.

I don't think meeting and breaking up will teach us what mistakes we did in relationship. Rather, the way we learn about ourselves and our acceptance to our partner. Our respect for each other's opinion and decision.

Oh no. Sorry for being a nagger on this topic, but I just have a lot to say about this. Because some people are worried already that I had no special friends at the moment. Today, my sister received a gift from his future husband and my brother suddenly ask me if I wanted to have anything. He wanted to give me a present too 🤣 he's being so cute. He is so thoughtful. But I make it clear that I am okay and I am not in rush.

Happiness will eventually come in our way. Plus, happiness is not only about two man fall in love, it is more and greater than that. Just like how my love for my parents grow every single day. Just how I feels it is hard to part ways with my family. Just like I am worried that my siblings will get their heart broken, etc. There are so much more beyond our typical love story. So people, open your eyes. Bless from God is everywhere -- either we choose to see it, or turn a blind eyes.

Till here, assalammualaikum.

p/s: Ok, I may never be in relationship, but I do have crush on these two person. I may share it later 🌹

Of wrong path taken

Assalammualaikum earthlings...

I used to feels irritated whenever I took wrong turn listening to waze instructions. That's why my doubts to waze/maps increase. However, as I am learning about life, I realise something. Something that really wake me up and something that really make me ponder why do I, always focusing too much on something that's so little which not worth my energy getting angry at.

I used to get angry when I am taking a wrong turn, because it will obviously taking more time, money and energy. Never did I realise, that I can only just follow the other way when they reroute, and as easy as that, I will be guided back to origin path. Nevertheless, I will still arrived at my destinations. And when I am thinking it back, it is not that I am taking a wrong direction, I am just taking a different one.

Same goes to our life. There is really nothing solid when it comes on making decision. Sometimes, we accidentally choosing the wrong path. However, the best thing about that is, we could always come back on the right path. We will be guided and Allah will guide us, if we seek for him.

Same goes to people who always comparing their life with others'. Very often, we forget that there is a lot of ways to a destination, and everyone choose differently, however it never means that those who choose different than us is wrong. Because we too, choose differently from others. Norm is something unusual in my dictionary. Because I always live up to believe that every single one of us shall live at their fullest, even though it means being called a weirdo. 

Now, when maps reroute, I follow and learn the road. So I wouldn't make mistakes the second time I take that road again. I embrace the journey. And that's how I feels more peaceful inside and able to see how beautiful is all that's meant to be happening.

I know walking alone is hard
But it is harder to walk with people who wanted to go different direction.
Learn to let things flow and as it was meant to be happen.

🌹

Of me and you

I am tired of seeking for your approval.
I am tired of living to meet your expectation.
And true to be told, this is not how I want to live.
You cannot dim my light, just because I choose not to shine, the way you does.

I love to see how you grow beautifully.
I am glad that all good things coming in your way.
I am grateful that you are all of want you want to be.
And I sincerely pray that you will eventually achieve all the dreams in your bucket list.
And I would want that for me too -- way differently.

Because I wasn't born as ethical as you
And I wasn't born as graceful as you
If you wanted a simple comparison
You are a typical noble while I am a free spirit rebel noble.

--

We are not too small for a big dream

Do anyone ever belittle you for having a dream they thought too good to be true? But guess what, I believe each and everyone of us, is seeking goodness instead of hatred, but we do not have faith that it is possible?

But if we believe that we could achieve that, then why not, we try. Because no one, is too small for a big dream. Do not let other painters, paint your canvas 🌹

Hati "tissue" is who?

I do not want to talk about that, but lets talk about that

Assalammualaikum w.b.t

Hi ladies & gentlemen. Very often we labelled those who easily cried over small things as "hati tissue", hati tak sado. Overly sensitive. Vulnerable. You name it. Those who shows, they will express through face expression, mouth pouting, or even crying. But my concern today goes to those who actually sad, torn and scarred but never shows. The one who keep it hidden. The one who try to keep it as a secret even to their own knowledge. How is it even possible, right? Do you ever think about that?

Growing up, I have heard a lot about second child symptom. They are literally more rogue than the first child. Stronger in term of energy and physical power. Hard headed, rebellious & funny. Second child can crack jokes anywhere, anytime. People feel so comfortable to hang around them, but not many can stand their hot headed. They are short tempered, so literally, they appeared stronger than the first born.

But I always believe, being strong is not determine by the least you cry. In fact, those who cried most, is actually the strongest. To cry, it needs bravery. To cry, it actually means that you have tried.

But the thing is, everyone cry. You always see people around you smiling, laughing and even live like they had no problems but as you do, all people crying too. So, do you ever ponder, when they cry? Where they cry? I think people who cry so much but wouldn't able to show it to other people is the one who suffered most. Because people didn't see and they didn't have anyone. They had themselves and Allah alone.

Oftestandrewards

No. No one said it was easy. But that test, is only to make us stronger. Just like the game we used to play. After we passed stage 1, we will go up to stage 2. And the level of difficulties will get harder. Sometime we feel restless, nervous and sometimes when we fed up for not surpassing the test, we leave the game. 

Are you getting it now?

Yes dear, Allah didn't want you to leave the game. HE wants to reward you, but the only way for you to receive that reward, you must first surpass the test. When you have accepted the challenge, walk over it. Go through the test, even if you fail, you can start over again., and those failures will only mature you, so you make better decision in the future. So when you had that much experience on playing that particular stage in a game after failing so many time, I believe, you will pass it. We will pass it. 

And I believe that everytime we play a game, we will become so eager to finish the game. No matter how many times we failed, we will try it again and again, until one day, we finally win, how joyful it taste. The winning taste better when we it is hard earn right? Same goes to our life. The harder it gets, the better we get. 

So friends, today, let's start our day fresh. Let's try again. Let's not run from our problems. Let's pass the test.

ADDICTION

I try to live without you

Believing that I will forget you

but it is not as easy as stop drinking coffee

when I open my eyes, I will remember you again

perhaps it is like this, I'm addicted to you

if I can't see you for one day

I cant stand it

I love you and I don't have any regrets

even though I don't say a word

how could I forget you

when my heart is still full of tears

I love you even if you are not there

even if you're dead

even if it's hopeless

because I miss you

because I never blame you 

why is it so serious

why does it hurt sometime

why it so familiar just like a disease 

that I could not forget

perhaps it is like this

I am addicted to you

by - kjk