Hey. did you see my new template? it's all red and I like it. my blog look sexy now. haha! my second year of being a src has started and yes I'm all excited and nervous at the same time because the commitment that one should give in this kind of organization is not a joke! 

you must be prepared to spend your night in the office. those late night sleeps finishing your assignments after finish the late night weekly meeting. That's still okay, worst is during event or program where you might not even have enough time to rest. Yes! you will feel so exhausted. 

Last week, Ms.Akmal my professional writing lecturer asked my classmate and I, whether or not we have the blog and ofc majority of them say no. it's understandable as nowadays, we already have facebook(s) and instagram(s) where people expressing their feeling. They didn't enjoy much of writing and reading the blog, but what an old school creature I am. I simply write blog and still in love doing that. 

despite getting busy with src, i've promised myself that i will not forget to spend quality time with my friends because they are my real supporter, the truest friend among all.  and actually, I'm thinking about time left before I leave mimet for internship. I've around eleven months left and yeah, i can start feel how much i will miss them. huhu/.

about my love life. i found a husband-material man. he's kind and that's all i look at. he didn't know yet and i think he never will.  i think i have shown some signs and i think i'm being obvious enough. but people still mistook my feelings for someone else. -.-'  haha! 

it's okay. doa yang paling penting. 

as for my family. i'm happy that my mom is being promoted last month and my dad is receiving more and more awards and appreciation for making a big improvement to his school. I'm happy that my sister is currently in her last semester. she'll graduated next year. i'm happy that my brother is doing well. he's look happy though i know he had problems with his gf. i don't like the fact he has gf tho. for my youngest brother, i always pray to Allah that he will finally do what he really want to do. i hope he will be okay and i want him to know that he's not struggling alone. for my dearest little baby, i'm happy that she's fighting hard enough at boarding school, tho she cries a lot! 

that's all for this week. happy productive days ahead.

she misses him.
he seems so close,
but far enough,
when she try to touch him,
like a mirage, he's gone.

everything started with friends' persuasion. 

but my heart knows what I am longing for. 

with nothing certain, i took the opportunity given. 

being accepted or not, i still cuba. 

when i was selected as top7,

i have no right words to describe my feelings. 

despite my worries and fears, 

God knows how much I feel thankful for the opportunity given. 

Haters gonna hate.

yang tak puas akan terus melempiaskan ketidakpuasan hatinya. 

tapi, biar. 

biar gagal mencuba dari tak buat apa tapi kuat mengata. 

people lead differently anyway. 

instead of kita cuba paksa cara kita pada orang, 

why not we try to accept and understand what he/she trying to deliver, 

sebab dalam dunia ni, yang diterima, bukan hanya cara kita. 

and that is one of the thing i learn from being 

in this organization. 

you'll have a lot of mixed feeling.

at one point, you just feel tired and what to let it all go. 

you just want to give up and let anything be. 

but you just cannot do that. '

because you understand your responsibilities 

and when you have passion in something that you do

no matter how hurt it is, you will keep coming back. 

and this post should be an appreciation post, 

to thank all src 2016/2017 

for being there. 

for guiding and letting me to learn as much as I can. 

to always help me with what I couldn't do. 

for always sharing the burden and 

for always giving me that shoulders to lean on.

I want to focus on do

That beautiful awkwardness =.=

I love that awkwardness between us. 

A feeling that only both of us know.

I am so sorry that I seem to favor someone else 

if compared to you. 

I feel extremely shy when looking in your eyes, 

that's why, i keep avoiding that eye contact. 

I feel extremely guilty 

whenever I put you in awry situation. 

I always play this I-get-angry-towards-you-scene in my head, 

but I just failed for you always make me smile. 

=,=

me; a boss or a leader?

people say, being a leader is better than a boss. 

a leader is way more better than a boss. 

i feel, it is like saying, being a boss is nothing less than a loser, a bad ass. 

i don't really understand the concept.

and i care less about that for i believe,

to be at the spot whether a boss or a leader, they fight a fierce battle. 

of being src or not.

src. student representative committee. 

an organization where you're being grilled

with multi-feelings. 

you hate, you love, you upset, you sad. 

all in one. 

I ever said not once but many times before, 

about not being part of src anymore

once my term end. 

However, things happened and I'm currently
one of src candidate for 2017/2018.

'er, do you ever like something so bad,
that you tend to let yourself suffer for it, over and over again?
src is just like that for me'

I don't have any manifest to promise.
I only have me and my experience and my leadership skill.
a skill that not everyone agree of me having.
a skill that not being accepted to practice.
but that's me.

i only have passion to offer.
i only have spirit to give.
and if people feel enough with only that,
then i will do the best,
otherwise, i'm not afraid of not winning.

my friend ask me.
whether or not i want to be a president.
he said, not many will resist once they got the offer, so how about me?
if only i can choose silence as an answer.
but i've always have something to defend,
so I decide to tell the truth,
I said no.

I do not want to be a president.
for i know i cannot be fair.
for i know i cannot stop being emotional.
for i know i wouldn't have much time to spend with my friends.
for i know, whatever he says, will come true.
 for i know, i'm not deserve that spot.
i couldn't be more truer than this.

people like me. 

we care less about what people talked about us. 

unless they are people who dear to us. 

so as long as our loved one know us, we're just fine. 

so, people like you. 

you guys didn't need to stir things up. 

don't makes things go complicated. 

people like me. 

yes, we are emotionally unstable. 

we have fought a series of battles.

no, you guys failed to understand. 

for it to be accepted not questioned. 

a bossy girl like me. 

we listen to your words. 

we took your advice seriously. 

only if, we can feel your sincerity.

she always talked about him in her poems, 

she always include him in her presence, 

she always try to look obvious but preserve,

she always let her feeling hidden, 

for she knows, 

to be with him is impossible.

she don't understand that feeling, 

a feeling that torturing and healing, 

with it she is less than fine, 

without it she can't breath. 

so she wonder, 

between two hurtful condition,

which is less painful to take.

she looks beautiful,

she is so prideful but humble, 

she is so ego yet humble, 

she is so confidence and arrogant, 

she is cold yet a warm person. 

people can't help but keep attracted to her, 

but no one could ever know, 

how mess she is, 

how disastrous her mind is, 

for she cannot enjoy the happiness

she makes people feel.  

- @farhannakarim

Soaring Upwards

Assalammualaikum & hai. 

I always have the urge to write and post about an event that happening in my life as fast as I can after its occurrence, because the excitement that I feel at that very moment is special own its special ways. But nah, a lot of things happened and I admit that I'm a bit lazy this week plus with all the activities I joined to make a productive weekend. [sampai all assignments pun tak siap lagi], time management Rhan! oh, please don't remind me of that. 

Let's get into the topic #soaringupwards **excited!

Last two weeks, I have been to a program named Pitch Program, not pitch perfect accapella [is it right how I spell it?] thingy of course. Students from IPTA & IPTS were gathered at UniKL MIMET in cooperation with MOHE and ONE to pitch their idea on how they can change society perception towards MOHE. 39 groups representing their institution but I am not among the participants, so why am I going there? 

I'm a volunteer. 20 unikl students' were selected to become a committee to help the organizer running this event smoothly. Departed from MIMET in the early morning of Friday, only God know how much I suffer from back pain for sitting too long in that old-new-looking van. The road from MIMET to highway itself isn't good [can't really understand why are we paying toll for, hergh!] okay, let's not get into that point! 

We arrived at WP Hotel around 11am and we can only checked in around 12pm but we went looking something to eat for lunch and we eventually checked in at 2pm and at 3pm we already need to standby at the lobby for registration. Up until 6pm, I did a good job waiting for all the participants to check in the hotel. I met my primary school friend by the way- Hanis. 

 This is the view from WP Hotel Rooftop

Er, actually, there were two mat salleh in Bikini in the pool beside me, that's why I need to crop the picture along with my Menara KL, kalau tak dah perfect dah. 

All in all, I gain a lot of experience from this event. There was a lot to learn from everyone and hopefully such opportunities will also be given to others mimetians who want to polish their leadership skill and soft skills.

Ha, one more thing, redbull has sponsored unlimited redbull for this program. and yeah, that two sexy redbull girl were coming too! I enjoy collecting that RM7 worth drink in my bag. It's funny when I got caught red handed by Mok. I'm actually taking it for someone else, not only for myself. you know, people like me, we always remember people who dearest to us. 

These are pictures I took at photobooth. 40points each!

Collecting and trying to be creative to win at least an iwatch

with meng and nad. this is muka paling rabai on saturday evening

again, trying so hard to win but bukan rezeki

as I grow up, people call me Farah less and less until that day

trying to promote redbull tho

one of the participant was pissing me off by calling me puan. haha

Actually, there is a lot more, but till here.

p/s: throughout the event, even though it is amazing, I was actually missing someone like crazy. wondering what he's doing/. Praying hard, so he knows but he wouldn't, will he?

Do you know when ice cream taste best?

It is when you eat it together with loved one.

 

 I don't know how much true is that on me. 

Starting from this semester, I hardly get enough time to sleep. 

It is not because I'm not sleepy or tired. 

I do feel sleepy. I do feel exhausted. 

But my eyes just resist to close. 

Yesterday, I've finished class at 12.30pm. 

I went back to my room and try to sleep. 

I turn left and right, and do the very same thing over and over again. 

and finally I fall in a deep sleep at 2pm, 

suddenly I received a phone call at 2.35pm, 

and the rest is history -- I just can't go back to sleep!

I don't know what happen to me. 

So, whoever have hard time to sleep, 

let's have a chat. 

I can read you a bed time story (my niece and nephews love me to read them stories)

Dear Mr.Butterfly; 

you are so beautiful, I'm afraid to catch. 

you fly so high, I'm afraid of falling to hard while trying to catch you.

so I decide to follow what fate has written for us. 

now you came down a bit low.

now you approach me with your beautiful smile. 

and now, the moment I want to be very careful about love, you come.

so I want to ask you something, are you willing to let me catch you?

Vol'17 Chapter 3 #pg1

Dissolution of SRC 2016/2017 has been started since yesterday. I am officially not part of SRC anymore. I admit that I feel quite sad as my term as src has end. Now, I am in dilemma whether to nominate myself for the next election or not. There are pros and cons m but nothing has been decided yet. I have around one week to think and think. I hope by end of this week, I can have the answer. 

Okay, that's not everything that I want to say. 

I actually want to talk about 'something' that I just realise about myself, and what that 'something' is? Okay, let me tell you from the start. 

This semester, I am doing my final year project (fyp) 1. I am currently still searching for research-able topic which related to maritime ofc. Plus, fyp committee has narrowing or specify that the title must be related to maritime industry, but most of the cluster specified were more biased to other engineering courses.

Every student must have a supervisor and co-supeervisor for FYP1 and since last semester, I've been asking Sir Roy to be my supervisor as I am planning to do research on something related to project planning which is his major. However, he didn't reply my whatsapp to answer me, whether or not he agree/accept me as his fyp student. 

So, as the due date for registered the title along with supervisor is getting closer, I met with Prof.Amin (currently teaching me Maritime Law). He agreed. 

To make the story short -- I just got to know today, that En.Roy is actually taking me in as his fyp student. I know this news from his co-worker, En. Taqi. 

Now, I don't know what should I do, what should I say and how should I put this into words??

That's not the point of this story either -- Hehee/ 

Okay now, the point is - when I told this to my friend, Hawa and Sha. Hawa said this to me "awak ni memang tak boleh menunggu la" she say that and I heard something like this, "you're impatient for you hate waiting i.e not a loyal person" haha, I interpreting it like that. And suddenly I reflecting myself. 

Yeah. I do realized it now and I come to think that maybe, maybe -- I am not someone who willing to wait someone for too long if there is no uncertain words left for me to believe that he/she will come back to get me back. In simple words, if I believe there is no chances for me with him, I will not bother trying, I will just keep going and move on and live my life as usual and eventually regretting why I didn't make any move. 

But then, hey .. a girl like me will always stay loyal when you show how confidence you are with the decision that you have made. People like me, we didn't need sweet talks. You can say that you need to leave for five years and come back for me later, then I'll wait. I will. 

--