It has been a while.

I'm still breathing, without you. 

I've come back.

Right to the place I've been before I met you.

It doesn't hurt so much. 

Because you're nothing but a hideaway friend. 

p/s: I've been waiting. But I'm not good at it 

Page 23, Chapter 2 - Breaking The Shell

The path I've taken is tough. 

But I'm tougher.
I decide to break the shell. 

It does hurt at first. 

I doubt myself. 

Full with insecurities. 

But, if I do not trust me, then who will? 

So, I walk a step further. 

I climb one level higher.
I fly - errr, okay --tak.

Yesterday (e-voting) kecoh sekejap,
when my name was not in the system.
Nadzirah replaced my name.
Technical problem (wrong ID number).
Luckily, HQ dapat overcome the issue.
I've got my vote transferred.
But still, I didn't set my hope high.

Today's evening.
When I enter class for Isu2 Kotemporari,
Mahfuzah came and whisper at my ears.
The good news - she said.
I was elected as SRC2016/2017.

A big responsibility on my first year!
If this is what the best for me,
I hope Allah is with me.

I want to thank my family for endless support and dua. My lecturers and friends motivation. Mimetians who believe and have faith in me. InsyaAllah, I will do my best. To serve. To lead.

#src2016/2017 #srcmimet

"Apabila niat baik mu kepada manusia sering disalahertikan, 

anggaplah itu akibat dosa-dosa mu kepada Tuhan. Dan mungkin, itulah cara Allah mendidikmu tentang keikhlasan"

Waktu aku liar dalam jiwa yang memberontak, 

Aku pasak teguh ego, agar aku tetap utuh dan tak roboh. 

Waktu aku pendam dalam semua dendam, 

Aku pandang semua orang, minta mereka faham. 

Waktu semua menjauhi dan aku menjadi asing, aku mohon agar mereka kembali. 

Kembali untuk ada disisi walau pada mereka aku hambur kata benci. 

Aku mohon mereka fahami. 

Berkali-kali. 

Tapi aku pula lupa. Mereka juga manusia biasa. 

Dan bila tiba mereka yang menjadi asing, 

Aku refuse untuk memahami jiwa koyak mereka. 

(How ironic) 

Page 19, Chapter 2 - SRC MIMET 2016/2017 SELECTION

Sesungguhnya #voteforme bukanlah agenda yang aku perjuangkan, 

tapi tentang harapan dan kepercayaan yang diberikan, untuk aku laksanakan. 

Aku tak mahu janji yang bukan-bukan.Tak mahu janji yang diluar kemampuan

Jika ini yang terbaik, maka Tuhan - bantulah.
Tetapi jika tidak, maka posisi itu, ada yang lebih layak.

Till here, Bye

Page 16, Chapter 2 - Home Is Where Our Story Begin

Towards them, 

There are so many things I am sorry for and feel sorry for.

In my rebelled years (few years ago), they always be there - standing still. 

Watching a me, who can't be controlled by comforting words.  

Even I've always thrown out my tantrum, saying those offensive words, 

but at my side is where they stand still. 

Family.

Having a family who you feel most safest, happiest and comfortable to be with is the greatest gift. How could I asked more from Allah when all I did is disobey Him? 

I can talked about my feelings (unfiltered) with my parents. 

My family knows whose my first crush is, and I keep updating them about the second, third and ... 

What else can I ask for? 

Isn't it rude to ask more when I already have so much? 

In few recent years,

I've found myself being so clingy with my family. I want to appreciate them more from today onward, and I hope this sincere feeling can reach their heart. And all I hope is, my action will prove my words. 

Yesterday, mama called me. I was sleeping actually when I heard my phone rang. 

It was Saturday and MIMET was blacked out, so the only way to cheat from feel 

like being grilling is sleep. When my voice out, mama quickly say that I shouldn't sleep at this hour. "mesti tengah meniarap atas katil ....." at this very point, I was totally awake. Because, yeah, I did answer mama called on the bed - meniarap. "Macam mana tahu ni?" I asked. "Mama boleh nampak dari jauh" and I was, God, is it really the truth? Haha. 

Guys, parents know us more than we think they would. 

They might missed a few things about us, but don't you think that there are so much more that we should thank them for? Lets put aside our ego when it comes about our parents and siblings. Tell them how much you love them, how much you missed them and say sorry when you are at fault. Where would you find the true love story if you didn't start it within your family?

Bye,

Assalammualaikum.  

Page 15, Chapter 2 - Am I An Extrovert?

Yes, I am. 

First, let's take a look on definition of an extrovert. On positive side, extroverts are often described as talkative, sociable, action oriented, enthusiastic, friendly and out-going. On the negative side, they are sometimes described as attention-seeking, easily distracted and unable to spend time alone. 

Some of general characteristics associated with extroversion includes; 

1) Numerous, broad interest; 

I've always been curious on so many things, even though it might not related with my life or field of study, but is there really any certain things that was not related with our life? Even stranger takes part in our life kan?

2) Likes to communicate by talking;

It was like in my blood. I keep talking even when there is no people around. (not all the time, but most of time, you will find me talking, even to myself - muttering). A fact state that people who talked to themselves are sort of genius. Erm, who knows? Haha. 

3) Enjoys being at the center of attention 

People always mistook me of trying to overshadow or labelled me as 'attention-seeker' but that is not it. I loved to have my opinion to be heard out. And it would be a great pleasure if people can accept my ideas, making me feels appreciated. I know that is not really a way to show you appreciation, but that's how I feel special. I know, something is not right with me when it comes to this, but I don't find it offensive when people objecting my opinions etc. I mean, I would feel good if people see my importance-ness in their life. Bahaha. I hate being the second option. Okay, I have been drifting so far away from the topic. 

4) Tends to act first before thinking 

I tend to believe my guts which most of the time I will feel regretted after doing it. How ironic. For example, being talkative has made me into someone who love sharing session when it comes to one-to-one conversation. I tend to tell people about my life experience which I would always say "ahh, why I told them this. It should be a secret. They shouldn't know about this", after telling them. Luckily, that's my story. Hey, I have trained myself not to mixed up my stories with others okay. 

5) Enjoys group work 

I always have a group of A people including me, working together on big project and gain success everytime we are on it. However, reality does hurt when it bites. I love working in group, but having great team member is a must. You know, dealing with people who do not know how you work is really stressful. That's why, I believe that everyone must blended well before they start on any work group. 

6) Feels isolated by too much time alone

Tho I was a talkative, but I do need some time to be alone - but not for too long. I am not defining 'being alone' as in not having anyone to be with but more as has-nothing-to-do-it. If I have works to do, then I don't feel lonely. House chore is exceptional okay !!

7) Looks to others and outside sources for ideas and inspiration 

When I fully understand the word of imperfection and the fact that we (human being) are the perfect example of imperfection, I have come to realize that I am lacking at so many aspects of life. By knowing that, I am certain that there is no other way for me to gain all the knowledge. It's beyond my potential. So, what I do is, I seek knowledge from people. I experience what they experienced. I watch videos on you tubes on great personnel in the world and their key of success in order to gain mine in the future. 

8) Likes to talk about thoughts and feelings

This part is my favorite. I always wanted to have someone, who can really listen to my sigh, listen to my happy event and sad moments, I also want to tell him/her what excites me and of course I would like to hear him's or her's too. I prefer midnight talk, as they say, people tend become more honest when they talked at the midnight as the mood is calm. Hermm..makes sense. 

I guess until here for today. I once again telling you and myself that I am an extrovert. For now, I like being it, because I really do not want to become an introvert which is so-not-like-me. Can you imagine how sucks it is if I sealed up my mouth even just for a second? It might not affecting your life, but it does affecting mine. Tho our religion asked us to remain silent if there is nothing useful to be said, but I can't really excuse myself for that. Heeeeee. But being an introvert once in a while doesn't feel bad either. 

Bye.

Page 2, Chapter 2

Assalammualaikum. 

It has been long since the last post. You think I'm studying but I am not. I have wrecked my final. Everything was beyond my control. No. I have loose the control. Someone has drive me crazy and to make it worst, live isn't at my side. I guess so, or else, I am might not writing with this kind of tone. And yeah, my face is so stiff--losing its 'cahaya'.

This new sem does not seem to be happiness-kind of semester. Haha. Semester 1 doesn't either. Ha, entahlah. I feel so many things are going in wrong way. I couldn't find myself. I was distracted with so many kind of things. I don't know what, but yeah. That is it.

I feel so lonely. I don't really make friends here. I feel like staying in the invisible darkness, which is very far from people that they could not realise that I was there - with them. I feel so lonely back then and in the present.