A little thought

Today someone asked me 

about you and also about 

some of your friends. 

You guys really life in fame uh?

Lol :p 

Somehow I feel special. 

Maybe because I can tell a story

about you. 

Mayble because I could show them, 

that I know you that well. 

and perhaps because I just want to 

show off, having you as my friend. 

But I also know a fact. 

I know who am I and 

exactly know where I stand. 

I know my place. 

That's why I couldn't brag more. 

You know what, 

a thought that remind me to you 

is hard. 

even the sweetest memory we had 

is make me tearing apart. 

but I realise, 

to not thinking or talking about you is 

harder. 

and what the hardest part is?

- to hold myself from confessing 

this feeling. 

Fly High.

I were used to be alone or left alone.
You named it and I have experience it all. (I think, I feel it so)

So, maybe it was the reason why I seem ignorant.
Maybe it was the reason why I seem so cold and
Maybe it was the reason of why I am being so close and scared to open up myself towards others.

Even when I first enter NMIT, my friends do tell me to try make some friends.
And I think I do it quite well.
I have got many friends.
(I think)
Whether or not they actually hating me or back stabbing me or bad mouth about me, I don't really care.

I told you I am used to it.

That's why, it was okay for me to walk alone even if I hope there would be some friends I close to.
That's why, it was okay for me to walk alone even when I really want my friends who I comfortable to be with.

That's why, I am okay by persuading my deg earlier than others.
Not because you guys are not meaningful but I got something to do.

Yeah, something that's more important.
Yup, important than a friend and also more important than anyone's feelings including me.

I never asked anyone to follow me.
Everyone should be comfortable of agree and disagree things.
But why, others decision effecting me so much?,
Why do I feel so guilty like tearing good friends apart?

I know everyone have their right to choose and make decisions.
But why their's put me in awry and makes me feel guilty

I should not think much about it
But I couldn't deny it either
This thought is making me sick

But.
No matter where we are scattered, just remember a thing,
That we will all fly high.
The journey taken might not be so parallel to each other,
But somehow we could end up at the same end. Can we?,

Bip bip

I need help.
Cause I wanna get out of here.
Not because I hate it here
But because I don't like it here.

Unlightening

learning something that makes you dumber.

It hurts when you learn but you don't feel
like you get a thing.
It pretty sucks when you feel like being trapped
into a zone where you don't recognize.
It do hurts when you feel so dumb even you have
been read dozen of books.
It hurts when nothing is really work out for you.
It hurts when you feel like a dumb person
floating in the world.
It hurts when you feel useless.
It hurts.

It do hurts you feel like killing yourself.
and do hearts when you talk like a person who
don't have belief in his/her religion.

It hurts when you don't rely on Almighty.