be strong.

the heart is fragile.

never mind, believe in Allah.

its your day then be true 

a little words...

"Mardhiyyah, do you remember that Ameer ever said that there is nothing called coincidence in this world?"

mardhiyyah nodding

"maybe I am not in that line of fate"

menyimpang sedikit

a little words..

Don't underestimate my intention
and dont easily labelled me when me myself didn't labelled
you as others do.
Directly tell me the things that disturb you that make my image
look bad in your eyes.
Because the way you treat me today make me feel like a stupid things.
If there is something about me which make you feel burden than spill it.

But after what had happen,

I think its better this way.
I may hurt myself when I let you to hurt it,
so let remain silent as time can recover everything.
I will give you a days, months or even years. The things that I know is I ever know you
and thank you for letting me know you.
Yeah, dont know much about you, but at least I know what type of person are you.
Thanks to you too, because I learn something new. Something which I will pin in my mind. And I will make sure that I will not fall into the same hole.

but ignoring me is a little bit harsh.

Think positive and take the positive one.
My spiritual journey begin later than you so..

a little words..

a little words..

Emran mean Gift.

I told Ameer and F about the person who I hate most when I first come to NMIT.
Yes it was Atta and seriously I don;t know why.
Maybe if he didn’t snap my picture, I would not feel that way.
But when it is about heart, how should I control it?

After Mardhiyyah officially a Muslim, then we had dinner together with Ameer, Danial, Atta, F and Afiq. Coincidencely, Atta sat beside Aiyah who sat next to me.
I ask him how to overcome this feeling.
I tak ada niat nak kenakan dia or sakitkan hati dia.
I have no cause to do so.
It just I am asking him how to overcome the feeling.
Because I feel sorry for him for being hated by me for no strong reason.
and I feel sorry for myself because I commit sin so freely even I know I can control that feeling.
How should I do.
I feel guilty at the same time.
Even Allah can forgive HIS servant then who am I to judge people and hate them that much?
Seriously when Mardhiyyah and Aisyah laughing, I feel so bad gila gila.
I terasa that I am so bad that I didn’t deserve for respect.

To the person I talked about; I am so sorry!

Bunga-Bunga Cinta

Haprak sungguh title post!!

For me, mudah je.
I am not a loyal person.
But I will be one day.
When?
when I become a wife to my husband.
Who is your husband?
ask Allah. I don't know.

For me, there is no use to put any commitment in relationship that I know will not last. Nowdays kes cerai berai tu macam kes kucing kencing depan rumah je. I mean 'not a big matter' lha. That is why I don't want to think about relationship at this stage.
I hate when they promises but they tak tunaikan.
I hate when their gigi yang lembut macam jeli but then bertukar keras macam batu after marriage.
Let focus on study.
At 25 tell ayah and mama that I want to get married
and then marry with someone who willing to accept my weakness.
and I will love him.
will respect and love my family.
At the end of that, the things I searching for is happiness.
Not only my happiness but everyone happiness.
That is why..I tak pandang you when people said you are so good looking. Because I don't trust people. But now, I know my stand tengah goyah because of someone.
But Allah always with me and I know what should I do.
Delete the file. 

Listen

Many new things yang people will learn here.
Not only here but any institution of studies lha.
For me,
if you want to learn something,
this is not just about you read book and hafal all the note
and flush it waktu exam.
You can learn everywhere
even listening also one type of learning.
so why don't you just open your heart and let the knowledge
get into you.
Its okay if you cannot grab all.
After all we are not a robot but that doesn't mean
that we can't try right?

Just listen. 

Kronologi Pengislaman Natalia Elizabeth De Rozario.

17 MAY 2013

Sepatutnya aku tak perlu ke campus hari ni memandangkan sepanjang tempoh semester pertama ini, setiap jumaat sabtu dan ahad tiada kelas.

Tak rancang lansung nak jumpa sesiapa.
Hanya aku, Lia dan Aisyah.
Kebetulan jumpa Fikri kat sana, perbualan tentang assignment bertukar kepada discussion tentang rumah sewa di Lagenda Tasek.
Bincang punya bincang, semua dah decide. After zohor kami gerak ke Lagenda.
Tapi aku perform my prayer at Lagenda.
Natalia seorang je yang masuk tengok rumah Fikri.
Aku dan Aisyah tunggu diluar.
Tapi memang daebak la tempat dia.
Fikri bawa kami ke floor 6, where there are swimming pool and sauna.
After that, azan Asar berkumandang.
I perform my Asar at Lagenda.
After that, Lia told me that Atta ask her out for dinner.
I don’t know Atta live here.
When I go down,
I shocked gila because I saw Ameer and Danial. Seriously I don’t know they’re staying there.
But then, we have short conversation about this and that.
After that,
we’re waiting for Maghrib.
After Maghrib, Lia, Aisyah, Ina and I were having dinner with Atta and his friend Afiq.
Tak banyak borak pun.
Lia je yang borak with Atta.
we are most likely a tunggul or tiang lampu.
Then we went back to Melawis.

Tomorrow morning, after bla..bla..bla..
Lia want to go to Lagenda once again to meet management and I said ok lah because we memang nak pindah sana as soon as possible kan. So, here we go!!
Ada jumpa satu rento
India muslim I think .
partly furnished and I don’t think it would be worth it so we reject the offer.
Its already 4.30pm
after Asar, Lia said that Atta want to meet her face to face at 6 floor at 5.30pm.
Actually I am a bit tired but I don’t think it would be okay if I leave Lia here so I didn’t go back.
I let Lia talk with Atta.
Even I dont know what they are talking about but I guess it all about Islam.
Then..let Atta talked.
After that, Ameer joined them.
still, I don’t interfer.
After maghrib, Lia asked me if we can go back after dinner. Because Ameer want to tell her more about Islam.
I’m not agree at fisrt because days going to dark and I don’t really know what will happen next. Kan?
But after a while. I think, its okay lah. ‘’for you Lia’’
Then we have some discussion about Islam.
Its quite interesting.
And Atta told me about Abu Bakar Al-Siddiq
He told me about people who enter the forth stage of hell.
Then we’re going back to Melawis.

Next morning, I am woke up like usual. A little bit late actually.
I do some rivision about marketing and BIS.
But today, Lia seem so moody.
She angry at little things and cry over something that I don’t think she would does.
Between Zohor and Asar
she suddenly told me
“Rhan, I want to convert”!!
-so seriously-??
I think nothing and grabbed my phone. I text Ameer.
After some discussion, we go to Lagenda for the third time and
Alhamdulillah, Natalia Elizabeth De Rozario finally a muslimah.
After mengucap kalimah syahadah, she feel so happy. So much I can saw it in her eyes.
But I don’t how much the happinest inside her chest delighting her.
I envy her.
because Allah choose her to feel that iman.
To feel that Islam.
Even sometimes, I always close my eyes and talk to Allah, why I feel that I am so bad. So bad that I am not even deserve to be called a muslimah.
I ashemed with myself.
No onw know how much mistake did I committed.
But I am really happy for my friend.
After thinking some name.
Finally Mardhiyyah Az Zahra had been choosen.

To Mardhiyyah: No one said it will be easy and the journey is still too long to go through. I will always lend you my hand as long as my breath. I want you always remember that the test will not stop here. Always tell Allah everything. Tell him. He is our lover and of course He will listen you even other refuse to. You must be strong and I know you are strong. Be thankful for the anugerah which not everyone can get it. Even not all Islam can feel it. Now you are officially muslimah. Just remember that I will always love you and you are always in my prayer. We learn bit by bit. Strength the basic that InsyaAllah, you can do it. 

What I want!!

I want to be rich.
I want to be beautiful and wonderful.
I want to success.
I want to have power.
I want to open my own company and I am the big big CEO.
I want to continue my studies overseas.
I want to have such a big and expensive car at my porch.
I want to have an antic classic car like old volkswogen.
I want to build a house like castle.
I want to bring my parents travelling all around the world.
I want to have a husband and
I want him to be loyal.
I want to have five kids and
I want them to be my prince, princess and also my friend.
It will be more. My list is so very long. Yeah, I want to have all that but the most important things that I want to have is happiness. I want to have everything but I don't want to hurt anyone. I want to have that everything without breaking someone else life and heart. I want they happy with what I have so I can share the happiness with them. I want to be in political line but I don't want them fight to each other. I want they be in peace. I want them save Malaysia. I want them to protect Malaysia. I will lend my hand if they need. I will. I promise I will because I want my family and my childrens living in peace. I want each Malaysian freely practicing their religion but still unite. I want all the eyes in the world look at Malaysia as one of the most peace place to stay.

PLEASE BE SOMEONE WHO MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO STAY

Reblog anak pak man

"I can't change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to," Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert.


He wanders. He wonders. About many a thing at a time. So many things, in fact, that he loses track and in effect gets distracted rather easily. Too easily. He could be in the middle of contemplating Khalil Gibran, for all he could, and a passing motorbike would make all those thoughts join the carbon monoxide to come up in smoke.

His focus is weak. He can’t pay attention to anything for more than ten minutes. He opens the Pages document on his computer to write something up and is scrolling through his Facebook home in less than two minutes. It not that he wants to lose focus. He just does.

At least that’s what he says to himself. Comforting is the thought of not having control of yourself. You are no longer responsible for your actions when you aren’t in control of yourself, and that’s the way he likes it. Not taking responsibility for himself. For his own development. For the feelings of the people around him. For his relationship with God. 

It’s not under his control. If it was, he would be the best human being ever. He would be able to do so many things. He would read a lot more. He would learn how to play every sport that he can. He would pray on time all the time. He would be helpful at every opportunity he can. He would work on his assignments as soon as he receives them and wouldn’t stop until they’re finished. He would proofread his work, thrice, making improvements every time. He would get high distinctions. He would get a first-class degree.

But it’s not under his control. He’s tired all the time, so he sleeps way too much and works too little. He’s too slow a reader, so he puts his books aside. He’s way too busy, so he postpones any actual work until the very last minute. He’s not fit enough, so he doesn’t go down to the field to play any kind of sport. He was always a one-sport-guy anyway. He oversleeps, so he misses prayers. He doesn’t like proofreading his own work, so his first drafts are his final drafts. His EQ is low, so he hurts the people who love him.

Ah, not being in control is the best thing that could ever happen to a person. After all, how can God judge a person for how He has made His creation? These flaws aren’t mine, he says to himself. They were given to me. I did not choose to be this way. If I was born hardworking, then things would be different. But I wasn’t. So I’m not. 

And that’s perfectly fine.

When we cannot understand ourself, then open up our mind and let hear other stories. You might find yourself in their colors. 

Qadak makan

How degil you are, but in your mom's eyes you are her medicine. 

Everything that you have done, 

she simply forgive. 

Mama. 

Today I'm home and I told mama everything about me during my day at kotaraya. 

You know how this new environment make you feel like a gendalangan?

sobs..sobs..sobs.

However, 

we must go through this in our life. 

I believe every sacrifice we made will give us something that worth it. 

I want to thank mama for 'nasi minyak'

for 2 weeks at jb, 

this is my first time feel mengah again. 

Qada makan. 

Untitled

With Allah, everything seem possible.
You can't predict.

Allah is there.
Allah is watching us.
He never sleep.
He take a very good care of us.

If we believe in him,
HE will protect us.
If we pray to HIM
He will protect us.

But, there is some situation that you must know how to estimate.
between 'tawakal' and 'usaha'

Be thankful when everyone are concern about you,
because when they start to ignore you,
you will be pretty loser.

Boleh jadi Allah nak beri ujian pada kita dengan menimpakan bala kepada kita. Saat itu, jangan salahkan Allah dan jangan pernah pertanyakan kenapa Allah tidak menjaga kita. Takdir Allah itu sempurna. Perjalanan kita dah dibentuk.

Tapi kena ingat.
There is fate which we can change. Allah say that.

3 things I need.

BROADBAND 

MP3

WATCH 

Tahan Ngantuk!

It was my second day of class.
I went t room 11.01 for Ms.Latha class.

Principle of Management.

I was so sleepy that I can't help myself but to take Aisya's minyak angin and put it on my eyebrows. I don't have a cause why I put it there but sometimes (if you realise), we tend to do merepeks things even though we know we shouldn't do that.

Instantly, my eyes was super duper pedih and I can't open my eyes.
I can't even focus to the slides, Ms Latha showed.

Abruptly, I stand and moving forward.
I ask Ms Latha to excuse me to go to restroom.

I wash my eyes.
Natalia was followed my back and ask me why?

After awhile, when I feel a bit okay then I went out and enter the class. Everyone were staring at me and I felt ashamed!

After that, I'm not sleepy anymore because my eyes so very pedih.. Haha!

Appreciate those who stand behind you.
Appreciate those who give you support, everytime.
Appreciate those people who love you.

Today you might think that they are busybody,
Today you might yell back at them when they advice you,

but later on,

you will miss them damn much!
you can't say it
but tears is enough to represent the feel you want to express.

I miss them all.
I must be strong.
Cannot look back. 

=.= Selamat Berjuang =.=

I open my old journal and there is a letter inside. I open and read. Owh..it was long time ago. ohh tak adalah lama mana. a day before I jadi NMITian. 30 of April. 

Student Life.

Different.

Jauh dari mama dan ayah.

People say you can do whatever you want because no one will forbid you.

"Engkau hanya dipisahkan oleh satu garisan yang sangat halus. Dikanan kau ada Aeon, tempat kau boleh habiskan duit mak bapak kau. Depan kau pula ada banyak new things yang belum pernah kau cuba"

what happen kalau kau melangkah garisan tu?

what happen?

think about Allah

think about Jihad for Islam

think about your parents

think about your future

Its okay to be weird when you don't even know what was that 'red tube'.

Its okay to be not-knowing about stuff like that.

Lets clear your mind and focus.

Aim.

Allah always with you. Have faith in him. Always think about your parents each time you want to do something.

The most important things, solat jangan tinggal!!

Al-quran tu kena baca. Even satu ayat.

Sesibuk mana pun urusan tu, jangan belakangkan solat

Apapun, Allah juga yang menentukan urusan kita.

Good Luck Farah Farhana. Be happy as the meaning of your name that is HAPPINESS.

Go through this path well.

It will not be easym but you have Allah and you have people who support you.

Aim.

Focus.

May Allah bless me, my parents, my friends, my housemates, my relatives, strangers that I met and muslimin muslimat.

Ameen.