That's not the main point actually, but I am telling because I am happy to get to see her again. why? because I always get to learn something when I meet and talk with people. If you look closely to your conversation with people, you will realise that, there is always someone's else side in you and there is always someone's else story that match your. This is because, we are all actually living and facing the same situation, but at different places, time and scale.
She talked about her roommates (not badmouthing), we just discuss on a topic - acceptance. How we define acceptance and are we truly accept people for who they are just like what we claim to be? Deep down, you know better. There is so much things about someone that you dislike, you loath -- you just can't accept them. You said they are rude, they lack of common sense. You use every reasons possible to validate that your actual feeling & perception towards them is not wrong. That that person, is wrong! -- and just because they don't think like you, they don't dress like you and they don't share the same common sense as you.
You ignore the fact that you both come from different region, different belief, different education background, and receive different parenting. The simplest example of doing the dishes in someone's home. When you pay a visit to your friend's house, you insist to do the dish when your friend kindly reject your offer because your friend's family do not want people to be in their kitchen -- just because. On the other hand, as someone who raised to be helpful and polite, you insist because you must set an example, because that's what are you raised up to be, how you're taught.
of you who wanted to be helpful and your friends who do not welcome people into their kitchen, you conflicted. Even common sense is not really a common things actually. Now you realise how much the word "common sense" weighted?
Now, do you believe me if I said, when something bad happen, sometimes it is not about who is right and who is wrong. You just look at the same thing from different view and nothing is wrong with that. So, how to deal with this kind of situation. Always take the first word of what people said. If they said, don't come in, just stay outside. If they said, to leave the plates on the table, and do as you told. If people blame you for being so dimwitted, at least you are saving yourself in case they are not joking. By the way, we need to stop saying things we don't mean. If not, it will trouble us like this.
As for me, when I at home. My mom need to give a clear direction, if not, I am doing exactly what my mom told me. I have learned to set my boundaries since I was a kid. We can never blame someone for how they grew up to be, but as long as everyone embrace the differences that we had, we can solves these conflicts.
I asked earlier about how we sees ourselves in other people stories -- remember? You know why you are so mad of other people? simply because you cannot accept you. You don't love yourself much enough for you to accept your strength and embrace your weakness. Because once you do, you will get this realization of the concept of acceptance. You will be more open to see the difference between you and your friends. You won't question why they choose to do different things from you. You won't get mad when they don't stretch their mattress like you do.
I guess that is the overall concept of acceptance.
Till then.
No comments:
Post a Comment