As far as I remember, I was cheerful. I love to play and laugh a lot. Until I was eleven, I am not as cheerful. When I was twelve, I was bullied verbally. No one dare to make it physical and they know who my father is. Growing up as bullies survivors is tough.
The flame in the eyes, the fire within the body -- you just don't tolerate anymore. I get so cold that no one is right except for what I believe. I get so protective and defensive. I hurt others to save me. My words were so vicious and I do that to protect me. I know, I cannot hurt people just because I was hurt. But I was forced to be matured, when I am not ready. Rebellious -- when I was thirteen.
After finish high school. I went to college. First time away from family. I learnt how to tame my anger. To do self reflect. To learn and accept the decree. To forgive others and most importantly to cure me. I need help, I know. I need to seek for help, because I am not strong enough to go through this alone.
Slowly recovering. I became cheerful again. Degree is the most memorable years for me. I got to do a lot of things without any difficulties. I made good friends, eat good food, joint good programs and it helps me to evolve and improve my character.
But along the way, I am used to be alone.
I may seem friendly on the outside, but once I step into my room -- it's me time. And I enjoy me time a lot, that I could sit there, reading, watching movies and I would love if people don't talk to me. My small circle consist only me and the diameter is one feet only. Which means, in my private circle, it only fit me.
You can have fun with me, when we were outside. But not when I am with me.
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