Yesterday was fun. I never been this happy during this semester in Mimet. Hanging out with friends who dear to me and spending the whole day with them, but hey -- things happened. 

From my truth, 

It happened on our back to Mimet when we stopped at petrol station. I go to the counter and after that I waited in Sutha's car while waiting for bab filling up the gas for my car. Hawa who originally ride with Sutha saw me and ask for a change. I'm okay with that. Seriously. It's normal to lepak at other member's car when jalan convoy like this but when I returned back to Sutha's, the door already locked. Q ask me to go ride my own car as my car can fit five people. At that very moment, I felt offended. Because Q say it like that while there are only three persons in that car. So I go back to my car tho I know my car was already full and I know I won't fit in there. 

So, I close the door -- not offended. 

I go enter Eddy's car without even looking at Sutha's and I didn't bother asking them again as I feel ashamed. Terhegeh-hegeh for a ride. and even if I did ask them again, I know I won't be happy as I already offended. I told Eddy, Hakin and Wani that I know this is just a very very very small matter which I shouldn't take really serious, but hey, I can't deny that my heart do offended. 

For that merely reason, I choose not to speak to anyone. I need my own space to calm myself. I need some times to cool down and clear my thought. So, when we arrived at a mosque for solat, I didn't even looking at everyone. But after I went out from the toilet, Q, Hawa and Sha already not talking to me and I assume that Q might know that she did wrong and Hawa and Sha are just being understanding for not bothering me as they always let me cool down first. In the mosque I solat just beside Hawa -- everything was fine, what we did only -- not talking to each other. 

Before I went out from ruangan solat, Q ask me, and yeah I did tell her that I offended with her and while saying that, I start to smile again. Pura-pura merajuk. Friends are like that. We fights but we stay. We fights but we eventually get back together. But still, I don't really have mood to talk much, so I just get into the car. 

While in the car, everyone just started to gather and ask me what happened and I just didn't want to talk about it anymore as I will settle this with Q by my own. Suddenly, Aril said "sekarang ni kau yang salah faham" "Hawa ingat kau marah dekat dia" "masing-masing ego tak nak minta maaf". In the midst of chaos, I was confused. 'I didn't mad at Hawa, but Q, so why so sudden they bring up Hawa's name?' and calling me ego for not saying sorry -- *am speechless* 

I can always say sorry for what I did wrong, but I didn't kaitkan Hawa lansung in my story so why suddenly jadi macam ni? I confused. 

I know they care. 

I know they do not want to hurt Hawa. 

I know they -- 

but they are being unjust -- that is from my side. 

and that night, after solat, after we continue our journey back to mimet, I cry. It's a long way and I can even taste my salty tears. Things get worst. People see me as not mature, emotional etc. I don't care if other people say that to me, and I don't care if that is what people label me, but I do care if my friends who dear to me thought of me, like that.