The idea of getting married itself 

is scary. 

I know myself. 

and I know, I won't marry me.

What disrespect for me?

You know what?

for me, i repeat -- FOR ME. 

Telling someone you know him/her 

is kind of disrespect.

for me, i repeat -- FOR ME. 

as long as you're NOT my family -- you never know me for real. 

and yeah, family for me, i repeat -- FOR ME, 

is my dad, my mama, my sisters and brothers. 

they are real and they are my family. 

you know what. 

the pain is real. 

the struggle is real. 

the healing process is real. 

the sadness is real. 

the depression is real.

the smile is real. 

the tears is real. 

and above all that, 

you never knew at which "real" 

that someone is going through right now. 

because, people tend to smile when they actually sad. 

people tend to cry when they actually happy. 

so for many unexpected, incomprehensible reasons,

it's hard for us to figure out what 

actually that one person feeling is. 

same goes here. 

I hate it when someone who aren't my family 

telling me that they know me because 

I know they didn't. 

 

Just like everyone have their own likes and dislikes, 

same goes to me. 

Maybe, mine just sound too different. 

but respect that. 

p/s: and I clearly said. when I didn't like things I will say it out loud, so people could understand, but it seems like people doesn't take it for real. so everytime I say A, they insist that what I actually meant is B when the truth is -- I really meant A.

Peace Yaww

Quater of the "RHAN'S INFOs WALL

I did start this new semester with new spirit. 

I kinda love myself more this semester 

and I love what I am doing and I also 

love the environment better than the whole last year. 

I found it easy to be around my classmates. 

I found it easy to be around the staffs and lecturers. 

I found it easy to mingle around and know people. 

but that's it. 

things I fear most has happened. 

you know, everytime I feel too happy -- I get scared. 

I'm afraid that sadness will come and take my happiness away. 

but, it's not fair. 

it has been one year kot since I having 

problems in adapting to mimet's environment.

Now when I feel a little bit happier, 

worst things happened. 

double. triple sedih. T.T 

*couldn't explain the details*

but  

You know what?

the truth is, 

no matter how well intended you are to help someone

when they are struggling, 

sometimes your words are wasted,

sometimes your words are just noise.

It's raining

In the crowd of people.
She feel empty.
She feel lonely.

In her laughter is where she hide tears.
In her smile is where she hide the pain.

And in the rain is where her smile was so beautiful.
As in the rain, her life was resumed again.

With the rain.
She share a lot of secrets.
So when its raining again, she will tell the secrets all over again.

p/s: it's raining and I want to be poetic.

New semester has begun.

And unusually started with busy schedule. 

I've been here in MIMET one week earlier 

for wow Sept 2016 to welcoming new students. 

On the very first week of this new semester, 

I've been assigned as one of committee member 

to organized Blood Donation program 

in collaboration with 1M4U. 

Every day and night, full with meetings. 

Contributing ideas, debating, making decision -- it's tiring. 

But of course, it every difficulties, there is always an opportunity!

That's why I'd always love to organize an event. 

Now here I am, at second week of this semester. 

I am too busy with meetings and classes, I barely made it to write this entry. 

My class on Wednesday and Thursday is quite packed, 

while I've so much of leisure time on Monday and Tuesday,

but even so, I don't feel like I could get a break. 

I got meetings every night. 

Meetings with src, with all presidents clubs in mimet, 

attending and giving speech at club's agm. 

and also, need to conduct meeting with hostel resident. 

I need to complete blood donation report before Mdm could send it to 1M4U, 

and also I need to make SOP for TalentPool project. 

All in all, even though it's tiring but I feel happier this semester. 

I think I could adapt with Mimet's environment now.

I don't think I am in any depression mood right now. 

I just let things go with its flow and enjoying every moment to the fullest. 

Till here, 

Remember the day you asked whether or not I like you?
I didn't say yes but i definitely didn't say no either. Remember?