Between friendzone and privacy

I've finished my final exam, yeay!! The longest period of exam week ever, (3) three weeks kot! phewww. Yes there are gaps between six papers that I took for this semester which is quite good for me because I could have time to study. You know, this semester is so hectic with events, meetings and src itself. Assessments and class were not properly managed (all studen

Okay, basically I don't know what is wrong with me. It just, I don't like when people become too pushy and instruct me to do this and that. I am not hard headed (owh I am) but this is a different kind of not liking people push you to do something that you already have plan for it. Example, I need to work on a proposal. The event will be on this upcoming October, but the proposal isn't ready yet. [my fault! I'm not too busy working but playing] but hey, I have overcome that my own way kay! 

Right now I'm having three weeks straight of an event called "Breakfast Giveaway", I am glad that the other members came and help. In day one, I came alone setting the tables and I didn't complaint! I didn't blame others for not coming earlier because I know they are preparing for exams, so do I, but..yeah. With exams and ongoing event, I don't really have time to sit and do the proposal, but I have talked to my sub that we will do it after final exam. 

Clearly stated, and it is okay between the two of us, until someone told me to work together with my sub to do the proposal. He/she speaks in clearly acceptable tone and I fully realise that his intention is just to remind me, but I feel bothered by that reminder. I feel like he's saying that I am not doing my work and let my sub do it all alone! I feel like he's saying that I didn't playing my role! I am not functioning. Or maybe, I get so mad, because I know it is true? but it is not!! 

Hmmm, the day become mourner when I get a feedback from student relating to our "Breakfast Giveaway". He/She said "makanan ni macam bukan nak bagi orang makan" in very sopan voice. A negative feedback and I accept it with a smile. Dear, the food itself is FREE. Breakfast giveaway is a program where we provide students with FREE breakfast during exam's week. The food was provided by our caterer and I am not paying her a single penny. She want to donate to students. Sincerely. So dear, when the food already free and we are not paying anything, instead of complaining, why don't we be thankful. I mean, if we want tasty food with beautiful plating, then we need to pay la! Okay. 

Wow, I have done a great job. It has been long since I last writing this long!! yeay. Okay, need to go to study law. Bye bye

Close, but not too close.

It was a hectic week with exams and Violette thingy, and I don't really like people who bother-ly bother me. Get it? I may seem easily approached and yes, sometimes I do make myself reachable, so people won't label me as arrogant after being src. But the point now is, no matter how approachable I may seem, please set the border! 

We have limits. We can be close but not too close. We can be friend but not too friendly, once you have crossed the border, I won't see you with the same feeling as I have before. So, please just stay still where you are now. Don't cross the limit, because I won't be able to stop myself from refusing you. Just be there, where you are now. Never come closer.

This is what I am, I love people, but I am a hater.

So drifted away;

Liking him or not?

 

should we really accept to be in relationship when someone confessing his/her love towards us? If you already certain that you love him/her then, it's okay la. It will be just like your "happy-ending story" but let say if you are not certain (you are in condition where you want to love and to be loved yet you are not ready. You don't really find someone you want to love), would you accept the confession? Will you say yes?

If you say yes, then would that love be genuine? 

If you say no, maybe you're missing the opportunity to meet your soulmate, but yeah - who knows? 

 

Or maybe, instead of looking at other person who is miles apart from us, we can just take a deep breath and look into the faces who stays with us, who are closer with us. maybe -- 

She's beautiful, at heart.

You have no confidence in me

I told you I can do it, 

and you say you know.

I told you I can do it. 

and you are nodding

your head. 

I told you I can do it, 

and you are looking at me with

smiling eyes. 

Then I thought, 

you can believe me. 

I thought you could entrust 

your burden on me, 

but guess what? 

I know, you're not.

We will fight but I want us to make up

It ain't easy - to stay. Is staying with one person through thick and thin is really that hard? I mean, I keep seeing people breaking up. No, they are not bad, they are just sometimes fighting over some issues and yeah, they breaking up. 

Should we break up after fighting? can't we make up? 

I mean, people will keep fighting, no matter what issues we arguing about, if we really love that person, we will still stay by their side and improving our relationship, but that doesn't happened to my friends and this makes me worry. 

What if, relationship is really hard and the consequences after arguing is really bad? 

If I am about to be in relationship, I know I will disagree with his opinions. I know I will get angry at him and there will be so many things we are not agree with. There will be a lot of arguments and yes the atmosphere will become cold, but despite all of that, I still want to stay. 

I want to stay - but I am scared, if he won't because many does that. They leave after arguments. 

"We will fight, 

We will have so many 

things to disagree. 

We will against

each other, 

and have some times

not to talk to each other.

You will go out

to the balcony and,

I'll eat alone in 

dining table. 

We will backs on 

each other 

on the bed, silently

with eyes wide open.

Wondering what you are 

doing back there.

We will not

looking each other 

at eyes and, 

passed each other. 

Like, there is no one.

But somehow, 

we can make up. 

Because we know, 

the love to love is

much more greater than 

hatred.

And I will stay. 

I will want to stay. 

Forever"

 - fk