We grew up.
We talk about future.
We discuss about ideas.
We take "feeling thingy" more seriously.

We grew up,
Now I am officially 21,
and I notice that we talked about love a lot,
like A LOT!

Feelings thingy get more attention,
and it we took it more seriously.

The problem with me is,
-- I can't recognize the significant of a particular person in my life/

This is super annoying!!

I am the most complex person in the world.
I say yes now and few minutes later my answer is no.
It's hard for people to understand me and I acknowledge that.
So, to make it easier for them, I told them so much about myself.
--to reduce and avoid the misunderstanding--

I told my likes and dislikes.
Do(s) and don't(s) around me.

I expect people could understand the simple language I use.
I told each of them in a proper manner.
But it seems like people just don't get it.

I told them, not to touch my belongings.
so by any means, do not touch anything!!.
--anything--
In any situation you're in.

And during my rebellious days,
I always get mad when my siblings eat or step on my bed.
I don't like sharing things.
as much as I don't like sharing my siblings.

It's not easy to tame me.
I told you so many times that how many times people vow and promise,
they will choose to give up on me and leave eventually.
 

ofgettingmarriedandnot

The thought of getting married itself is scary. 

I have weaknesses

and people who fall in love often says 

that they'll readily accept the weaknesses. 

But the question is -- sampai bila?

and to give commitment for something that 

I don't certain will last long is a wasting. 

 and how long the love will last?

and how long does it takes for the love to

stop blooming and died?

and how long does it takes for him to realize that

getting married to me is his biggest regret?

I don't know, such time may come if I ever get married. 

Nah -- I don't know

or maybe, I am afraid of getting hurt, 

that's why instead of trying, I am running away. 

Farhana Turns 21

Semakin kita dewasa, ulang tahun menjadi sesuatu yang semakin kurang tentang kita. We no longer fancy a party just to celebrate the special day kan? For my twenty first birthday, I only request asam pedas and sambal goreng basah (jawa) from mama, and bila ditanya nak beli kek apa (I'm a little bit choosy about cake), I found it weird when I didn't want a cake.I just want to stay with my family and I suddenly feel like they are all that I had and they are enough for me.

Kak Farah still made me a cake. Orange cake, She only did what an eldest should do, haha. She never allow me to go back to mimet with tangan kosong. Ada je yang dia nak bekalkan and that is why I'm really grateful to have her. I got a handmade so nipis kain stretchable from baby. Nampaklah usaha dia untuk buat hadiah tu and I am so touched *jap nak lap mata*

Going back to Mimet, I also received a lot of wishes from friends and classmates. And my roommate dengan the other my four fav pills buat a surprise. Lucky enough kelas cancel, kalau tak kena sambut esok - they said. So semalam memang makan banyak gila. Dapat makan tomyam, kek orange, kek coklat like brownies from SR. Sangat padat dan berat, so you guys can imagine berapa banyak yang ada, sampai sekarang pun masih ada half. Lepas tu, jiran sebelah (also my classmate) bagi pizza pulak :') Sungguhlah rezeki Allah tu melimpah ruah.

All in all, I would like to thank everyone yang come into my life and make me who I am today. I am looking forward to be a better version of me next year and I hope, people that I met on 21 won't be a stranger when I am 28. :) 

Till here, thank you.