I didn't feel special.
It hurts when you feel
that you are unneeded.

but I do need myself.
I do need me.

I hope I could cheer up
a bit. 

Mechanical Pencil

Semalam ada test on subject W&D.
As acknowledge by the others,
subject ni memang tough.
sebab sir Voon yang ajar.

Sir Voon is pretty strict when it comes
to study.
But he should be strict pun kan.
The problem is us.
Sebab dah terbiasa dimanja dengan loose rule
in taking quiz and test.

Jadi, everyone was sighing when it comes to
Sir Voon's subjects. (inc me)

The test was devided into 3 section.
sec1 multiple choice
sec 2 suai padan
sec 3 essay.

(Sec 2) Though it seems simple yet I still find it hard.
Sebab the definition given is really tricky.
So I am actually using pen while doing this part.
and when I've finish it I put up my hand to pass up my paper.
but sir Voon asked me to stay and checked my answer.
He's giving me a hint that I've match a wrong answer.

so, I decide to use pencil. sebab tak nak kertas kotor sangat nanti.
dahla tak bawa liquid.
Unfortunately, my mechanical pilot pencil dah tak ada ubatnya. T.T

Then pusing belakang tengok my friend,
sebab nampak dia using mechanical pencil juga.
Unfortunately dia tak ada juga.
and aku dah macam messy sorang sorang dekat kerusi.
tapi tiba-tiba my friend called  my name "Rhan"

Dia keluarkan ubat pensil dari belakang pensil,
You know kan, people suka isi ubat pensil lebih lalu
lubang pemadam tu. Alahh, we all used to do it when
we are in shcool days.

Honestly, I am a little bit touched.
betullah, kita ni ni bukan nak benda yang megah-megah sangat pun.
cukup dengan a little gesture yang ikhlas.
Itu sudah memadai - kan.

I always got this bad expression towards
people's sincerity, but what my friend just did
has prove me wrong.
Wujud je lagi sebenarnya manusia-manusia yang
masih penuh dengan budi bahasa tu and I believe
we need to start it.

The power of change is in our hands kan?

Leave you with smile. Bye 

I'll be nice to everyone
on the first meeting.
I be nice because of something
I called respect.

However,
as time passed,
we know each other better,
and obviously we can tell
whether or not that one person
could be our friends.

This is not about cannot accepting
other's natural self.
because accepting doesn't always
mean you accept it.
Acceptance mean, you understand
that everyone is never same and you
move on.

As for me,
I have my own preference
when it comes to friendship.
I know myself better than any
friends and strangers know.
so practically, I know who am I and
how am I?
and I know what type of friend I need
in my life.

and if I refuse to talk to you.
and if you didn't see I smile towards you.
just know that I am not ready to be your
close friends.

Not because of arrogance
but because I have had enough of
fake friends and I don't want to add more.

sorry but no sorry. 

I am good but I am not an angel. 

I am bad but I am not a devil. 

I hate people. 

but I do love some of them. 

Do you remember the first time you see me. 

Do you remember the first time our eyes met.

Do you remember when we first talk?

Do you remember when we start to greet each other?

It took us about one year to get together. 

It took us about one year to have that courage.

It took us about one year to reach to the stage we have today. 

It was one year of non imaginable moment I ever had. 

You might not be the best in my life that I will have. 

But for now, you are greater than other momento of my life. 

so my friends, 

let finish this semester with laugh and smile. 

I will always miss you guys.

Thank you for having me in your life;